Surgical Steel

Death to the Gig Shirt

2010-07-06T20:02:00.003-05:00

So I guess anyone who bothers reading this wants to hear more about my trip to Peru...been busy at work and really, putting in lots of overtime and I haven't had time to do more than upload a few choice pictures on Facebook.

That said, last week, something left my life that I thought never would. I finally said goodbye to my Gig Shirt.

This shirt was a flashy, purpley, Hawaiian kind of thing that I actually took to Peru and wore for most of the Amazon part of the trip. It was my Gig Shirt. And my Sunday Shirt. Long story, short: any time my band played a gig, I wore this shirt. Anytime I worked a Sunday shift for my former employer, I wore the shirt.

But it was on its last legs. Strands were fraying off the sleeves and it was just starting to look tired. I had asked my mom to hem the sleeves and she just told me...the fabric was just worn out. So I was doing my laundry last week and I told my mom...the Gig Shirt is done. And I put it in the trash. Almost as sad as putting Sheba, my first electric guitar, to rest.

Songs that should have been hits

2010-05-19T17:30:00.002-05:00

King's X - Mississippi Moon

Why this song was not a hit has to be on the head of the record label. The band certainly knew it was hit material.

Peru Trip - Day Three

2010-04-20T20:31:00.008-05:00

9 April 2010

5:45am. Wake up call. I woke up a little early. Good thing because the call was 10 minutes late. Got to the airport and checked in by 8:30am. Boarded 8:55. Flight was 9:30am. Flew to Cuzco. A 45 minute flight. A136 Airbus. Angle of attack on landing was severe. Ground met us rather than vice-versa. Landing in Cuzco around 10:15am. Altitude 9200 feet. You can definately feel the change in altitude there. I bought a souvenir hat reading "Cusco MachuPicchu." There was a young girl there who welcomed us with the traditional drink: Coca Tea.

We were told she was dressed in traditional Quechua fashion. I figured that was kind of stretching things.

We went up the Andes in a bus, as high as 12,000 feet before coming down into the Sacred Valley of the Incas. Here there were many examples of terraced mountainsides, jagged peaks, and a wide, flowing river. We followed that river to a hotel/restaurant called Posada del Inca Ycay. Here we had a buffet. lunch. I had two different types of fried potatoes, both native. Some fresh fish, chicken, and rice as well as rice pudding. Also, two cups of coffee (supplemented by bottled water - all the drinkable water in Peru is in bottles). Took good pictures of the complex.

That's Mom in front on the left, by the way.

Then back up the trail to visit a local silversmith who showed us his wares. He showed us the difference between alpaca and baby alpaca wool, his looms, and the difference between 950 silver (almost pure) and 925 silver (more copper). He had some awesome Inca figures in silver and gold.

I inquired about the price of these and the low end was $5,000 and the biggest was $15K.

Then we visited the famous Pisac market to look at the local wares.

My jacket was a casualty of the cat pee incident, so I thought maybe I could find a poncho. I asked a seller how much for one and she said 116 Soles (local currency), which is annotated as S./116. That is about $40. I didn't have that much but I worked her down to $18 and made a deal.

Then we went back to the hotel for a presentation on Machu Picchu by the former director of the site about its religious and spiritual meaning. Finally, dinner at the restaurant again. Appetizer was a kabob of beef, chicken, and alpaca (tasted like ostrich but more buttery), and potatoes on the side. Entree was beef stir fried with fresh onions and chiles with potatoes and rice. Dessert was chocolate cake. Our dining companions were the Abbruzios and they were excellent company.

Peru Trip - Day 2

2010-04-19T17:45:00.009-05:00

8 April 2010

Breakfast at Hotel Casa Andina in Lima. 7:45am. The usual stuff. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, hot tea.

8am. Orientation with Enrique (Kike) Esteban. Lecture by some Peruvian named Alexi about the overview of the diversity of Peru.

About 10am we piled into a bus for a tour of Lima, specifically, Miraflores, the rich part of town. Lima drivers are insane. Most of them are taxis, buses, or rich people. They have zero concept of "merge". If you are not willing to cut someone off, you should not be driving here. I think our driver, Felipe, understands this concept well.

12am. Lunch at Senorio del Sulco by the beach of the Pacific.

4 courses (2 appetizers, 1 entree, dessert). First appetizer was fried kingfish. Second was tamales Peruvian style (they serve the tamal on top of the corn shuck instead of inside it). Entree was fried flounder over vegetables with rice. Dessert was a pruple corn pudding that was very good. I ate everything.

We also had some Peruvian drinks. The first one was an alcoholic thing called a Pisco Sour (more on that later). It tasted a lot like a Margarita only packing a bigger punch.

This is gonna hurt.

The second drink was called a Chica Moreno and it was non-alcoholic. It tasted kind of like a sweet Guiness.

I took some time after lunch to pose by the beach.

After that we toured the Archaeological Musseum to explore the cultures up to and including the Incas.
Afternoon was a tour around the city with a stop to the central square with the main cathedral.

Also, let me take this opportunity to say that Peruvian women are HOT.

6:30pm. Dinner at Tantas restaurant. Appetizer was a combination sausage/spinach/pie thing. Main course was Sesame chicken over rice (couldn't finish the rice- needed room for dessert). Dessert was coca/cheese/cream cheese/ nut sauce cake of some sort.

8:10pm. Walked back to the hotel. It was treacherous.

Day 1 they assumed Mom and I were a couple and they gave us a double bed which was kind of weird, you know. We corrected that day two and never had any more problems with that.

Peru Trip Day 1

2010-04-19T17:30:00.003-05:00

So, I've spent the last twelve days exploring the ancient home of the Incas and also exploring the upper Amazon in Peru. It was an exciting trip, but without internet access to upload pictures, it didn't seem right to blog about it until now. So here we go.

Day 1 - 4-April 2010

Flight from San Antonio to Houston was predictable and uneventful. Now I'm on the flight to Miami at 35,000 feet and 700 miles to go. Will keep writing. No real pictures to take from this altitude. Nothing but clouds. Mom is reading some book about a Scottish family or something. The stewardess served me Mr. Pibb. I thought that brand was dead. Houston to Miami is 2 hours and 2 minutes. From San Antonio to Houston was only 45 minutes. Miami to Lima will be 8 hours 30 minutes due to a layover in the Dominican Republic. We are flying Continental on a 737. We have been up for 6 1/2 hours.

12:30pm. Disaster. I left my driver's license at the TSA check-in in San Antonio. Now I'm in Miami and going thru TSA again and can't find it anywhere. When they gave my bording pass to me with my DL, I had to put my boots back on after checking through (steel toes and all). When I picked my boarding pass up, I must have left the DL on the bench. Had my brother call up the TSA and they assured him that it is standard to mail them back if they find it. The TSA lady in Miami (Rachel) assured me that my passport would suffice.

5pm. Embarked Miami to Punta Cano at 2:25. Now we are here in the Dominican Republic. W'ere on a layover so we can't leave the plane. The plane is a 767 and much bigger and nicer than the Continental 737's. It has in-flight movies. Now we are about to leave for Lima, which we should reach around 10pm. I really need to sleep, but, I know it would be better to stay awake and sleep when I get to the hotel. The Peruvian crew is weird. Their idea of a nutritious meal is a hoagy with cheese, lettuce, bacon, and pickles. And the Coke was warm and flat and they only gave me 4 oz.

8:30pm. Stewardess asked everyone to return to their seats and buckle up: turbulence over the Andes. It cleared up when they changed course and went to 38,000 feet. Dinner came and this time was a lot better. Hot chicken teriaki with rice, biscuit, cheesecake, salad, and two glasses of wine. Watched "The Blind Side" on the in-flight movie. Tried "Avatar" but it sucked after 30 minutes. Now the stewardesses are selling duty-free items on the aisle next to us.

9:07pm. Making 532 mph, 38,000 feet, 600 some miles to go. Have slept sparingly since about 1am last night. Gonna try and squeeze this last hour in.

10:30pm. Arrive Lima. Shourt tour and trip to hotel. Discovered that my attempts to clean cat pee from my big luggage unsuccessful. Half my clothes contaminated. Will have to double up. Can't wear something different every day.

Firearms history of Conan

2010-02-15T15:20:00.003-06:00

So I grew up on a farm as has been established...now the question turns to firearms, something I am familiar with.

It's a long list, but I'm just going to go with the ones that I have used and which I am familiar using. I could spend 4 posts telling you about every firearm I've used in my life, from BB guns (brother shot me in the foot to test the strenght of my boots...bad idea) to autos (buddy at hunting camp brought a MAC-10).

Here is the list of guns I've either been associated with (but owned by my dad), or owned myself.

1. Mossberg .22 bolt action(model unknown). This one had a fold down front upper and used a 10 round detatchible magazine. Brother took it apart and screwed up putting it back together. Result: You have to put it on safe, chamber the round, then put it on safe. When you fire it, you have to put it on safe, chamber it, then unsafe it again. This was my "rat gun" for shooting rats in the barn. Terrible gun.

2. Remington .22 (model unknonwn). Again, bolt action. This was my brother's "rat gun." This had a very awesome downsized Mauser-type action with a tubular magazine and there was none of the safety gymnastics required by the above gun. Superior bolt action gun.

3. Remington 1100 LT Lightweight. Bought when I became of hunting age, this semiauto was purchased by my dad. He intended for me and my younger brother to share this one. A sweet shooter, this 20 G shotty spent a lot of time in my hands. Lots of fancy scrollwork and a blued finish. I think my dad just liked it for himself, really. Ironically, he forced me to use it as a single shot my first season. This was not a bad thing because it took me years to realize that you can over-lubricate an 1100. They need to be kept relatively dry or they will jam.

Now we're getting to the good stuff:

4. 1895 Chilean Mauser Sporter chambered in .30-'06. This was my dad's deer rifle. I hunted with this for a few years in my teens. I have no idea as to the model of the scope. I know it's a Redfield.

6. Remington 1100 LT Parkerized. I loved that 1100, but I wanted to prove to Dad that I didn't need to use his gun (irony alert...he passed away and now it's mine anyway). So I bought this one direct from a store that could or could not be called Wal Mart. Anyway, I downed a few limits with it, fell in love with a psychopathic stripper, and ended up selling it. Shame. Good shotty.

7. Marlin 880 bolt action. Sweet rifle. Sold off to pay some bills. But it had a match barrel, and smooth action. I liked it a lot.

I went gunless for about 5 years, then some things happened. There were a lot of home invasions in my general neighborhood so I decided I needed a shotty. So I decided on a shotty. Actually, an 870.

So I have that.

My father died in 2007, so some of the firearms he bought for my use have obviously been passed to me.

The aformentioned Remington 1100
The aformentioned Mauser

And a very nice Ruger Mk II Pistol in .22 LR

Thing is, you can spend a lifetime looking for guns and there are a ton of good ones right under your nose.

Like I said

2009-09-21T18:29:00.000-05:00

Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs is cerifiabley insane. I was banned and I have no earthly idea why. I think if you believe that a higher power created us all, you get banned there. That's the basic theory.

Light posting

2009-07-01T10:28:00.002-05:00

Nobody reads this anyway, but I'm kind of suspending my posting for a while.

Sparty's being a little bitch today, whining and whining. You got a clean box, plenty of cat food and clean water...what's your problem?

He does this thing where he comes up to me and meows and meows just sitting there looking at me. I pick him up and he starts clawing and biting me, albeit lightly.

It's time for the cat "taco" where I roll him up in a rug and stuff him in his cat house.

Some call it torture but I call it tough love.

I Love the Indy 500

2009-05-24T13:49:00.002-05:00

...but I get terrible air signal on TV and don't have cable because I hate the cable company.

And since the race is not streaming online anywhere for free...I'm screwed.

But...I can listen to the IMS radio broadcast and watch the live scoreboard.

Along with the radio broadcast, they stream video from the broadcast booth. And so, during a commercial break, I got to see Paul Page inhale a hamburger. Dude ate that thing FAST. In about 15 seconds that guy swallowed a huge burger. And it's obvious that since his days on ABC, he's put on some pounds.

Paul...hint: mainlining hamburgers is not good for your health.

Retarded Idiot

2009-05-02T12:03:00.002-05:00

While I am on my soapbox, I thought I'd post something also about Jon Stewart's idiotic comment (since retracted) that Harry Truman was a war criminal for dropping the bomb.

1. He said we should have held a demonstration. Hey dumbass, we dropped one directly on their heads. That was the demonstration. And they still didn't surrender.

2. Since I have a degree in History, I have studied this (and written papers on it). It is estimated that 1 million Americans would have been killed in an outright invasion of Japan. Based on the resistance on Okinawa, I'm inclined to agree. Out of something like 130,000 Japanese on Okinawa, only 7,000 surrendered. So you're talking about millions, tens of millions of Japanese who would have died in an invasion.

3. And finally, Harry Truman is one of my biggest heroes, and slandering the man is just plain wrong. Anyone who had the guts to make that kind of decision, and also had the guts to fire that ambitious asshole MacArthur, deserves the utmost respect.

And that's my take on it.

P.S....most people who know me would be surprised to find that my favorite President is a Democrat. Well, that was when Democrats were sane.

Charles Johnson has gone insane.

2009-05-02T11:39:00.002-05:00

I know that I hardly get any traffic at all at this blog, but I don't care. It just soothes my soul to vent here and damn it, I've got to say this. Of course if it ever gets back to him, he'll ban me but I don't give a rat's ass.

Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs has gone insane.

Accusing the Tea Parties of being organized by the Paulians is pretty egregious, considering I found out about them from Robbie Cooper.

And to be honest, I find his daily rants against Creationism boring. Hey, believe what you want, but at the same time, his jihad against it is just becoming lame. It's not some insidious disease (for the most part). It's definately not the most dangerous thing in the world when you consider rogue nations with nukes or global jihad.

And finally, insinuating that Robert Spencer is a Nazi is pretty much beyond the pale.

I've always enjoyed LGF for its anti-jihadism, and I wish the Lizard King would return to that. But sadly, I think he's gone off the deep end. He's supposedly a moderate; so why so much virulent hate for those of us to the right of him? Aren't moderates supposed to be tolerant?

Charles, whatever meds you stopped taking, I suggest you renew your prescription.

The government can EAT ME

2009-04-14T20:32:00.002-05:00

I filed my taxes online at H&R Block today.

It seems that they have deducted last years stimulus check right the hell out of my refund for this year.

So instead of getting near a grand for paying my withholding, I'm getting about $406. I can make that in a damn week without even sweating.

I guess I could be grateful that I am getting ANYTHING back in today's climate, but the IRS can suck my balls. Blow me. You suck.

Final word on BSG

2009-03-28T10:29:00.002-05:00

So I just watched the final episode of Battlestar Galactica (by the way, it should technically be abbreviated to BG).

A few things about this (spoiler alert to anyone who hasn't watched it). As far back as when the 4 Cylons in the fleet were revealed by Bob Dylan's "All Along The Watchtower," I have been saying that we were going to find out we are all Cylons. Because Cylons are revealed by that song, so obviously Bob Dylan (and at the very least, Jimi Hendrix) are Cylons. Bingo!

Lots of early exposition where Lamkin for some reason is chosen as President. Nice. A sleazy trial lawyer, president of the colonies. Well, we almost got John Edwards so I guess that kind of makes sense.

1. Galactica jumps in right next to the Cylon Colony. Sam is hooked up to the Dradis and somehow this allows him to get the hybrids to shut down the defenses. Big space fight while the assault team fights their way to Hera. One of the Raptors hits an astroid and the crew is killed. It's the only Raptor with nukes on it.

2. Boomer kidnaps Hera back and brings her to the assault team. Athena kills her.

3. They fight their way back to Galactica while the Cylons counterattack and fight their way to the bridge. Baltar is part of the team repelling boarders along with Caprica Six. Now Baltar can see her Baltar ghost and she can see his Caprica Six ghost. Big reveal that CIC is actually the opera house. The Cylons make their way in and Cavil grabs Hera in the confusion and threatens to kill her. Big speech by Baltar about how this is all God's plan.

4. The five promise to give Cavil resurrection in return for Hera. Cylons and humans both stand down and the other four prepare to share their minds by putting their hands in Sam's bathtub. Tory doesn't want to do it. And of course Chief sees that she killed Cally. Chief pulls his hand out and chokes Tory, breaking the connection. The truce is over and people start killing each other. Simon dies. Cavil eats his own bullet. The raiders begin to attack.

5. The raptor that was hit by the astroid is adrift and hits another asteroid, which jolts the pilot's dead hand which lands on the launch button. The Colony is disabled and falls into the black hole.

6. Adama tells Starbuck to jump the ship. Starbuck doesn't have any coordinates, but she's figured out that the song Hera wrote is actually a set of coordinates. The ship jumps.

7. Cut to Galactica flying over the moon. Our moon. As it passes over you see Earth with Africa clearly visible.

8. They send a Raptor to bring the fleet to them since Galactica can never jump again. Everybody votes to leave technology behind and live here. They see early homo sapiens and Cottle says they bury their dead and that they're genetically compatible. Well, Neanderthals were too, so that may be what they are.

9. Anders flies the entire fleet into the Sun.

As for the endings for the characters?

Cylons: the good Centurions are given the base ship and they go off on their own, content that they finally have their freedom and free will. It is stated that they won't come back and destroy us, or that it's a risk worth taking, cause Adama says, "they earned it." Personally, I'd have let Anders fly those toasters into the sun as well.

Adama/Roslin: He and Roslin go flying off to find a place to build a cabin. Roslin dies on the way. He takes his wedding ring off and puts it on her. Nice ending there. Oh, and he starts the cabin as soon as he finishes burying her.

Lee: He says something to Kara about how he just wants to climb a mountain or travel the oceans. I think he becomes some sort of hermit/mountain man.

Starbuck: She vanishes while Lee is teling her this, so it's inferred she was an angel.

Athena/Karl/Hera: They argue playfully about who is going to teach Hera to hunt. The wander off somewhere with the same group as Lampkin.

The Tighs: in the same group as Lampkin.

Chief: He settles down on "an island just northwest of the northernmost continent," where there are no people. He says he likes the highlands there. I guess he's the father of the Scots.

Baltar/Caprica Six: They settle down together somewhere between a couple mountains. Baltar's dad was a farmer so he says he'll farm.

Finally, at the very end it is revealed that Hera is the "mitochondrial Eve" of the entire human race as it exists today. Ghost Baltar and Ghost Six are in the middle of New York City. They have a little spat about how this has all happened before, on the first Earth, then Caprica, and now this Earth. Caprica Six says that it might work out this time, that it's part of God's plan. Baltar says, "He doesn't like to be called that." Obviously they are angels. He says, "maybe it'll work out," and they walk away to a kind of montage of various progressively more anthropomorphic robots on big screens in the city, all of which actually do exist, to the tune of Jimi Hendrix playing "All Along The Watchtower."

I told you, we're all Cylons. We all share a common half-cylon ancestor.

Trying to crack the crack bottle

2009-03-08T13:10:00.003-05:00

So I bought Spartacus some little treats and they come in this bottle with a flip up lid.

He got tired of me handing them out.

This does not even begin to show the amount of growth of this cat in the last few weeks.

Remember the picture of him with his monkey?

Now look:

Rush is wrong on this

2009-02-26T13:40:00.003-06:00

Rush said just now on his show that President Obama "loves earmarks."

I don't think that's particularly the case. I just think the President doesn't care. As long as the public perception is that he's doing something about the economy, he's willing to put up with thousands of earmarks. He doesn't love them, he just doesn't care if they're there or not.

Sparty channels his inner Bill The Cat

2009-02-18T20:15:00.002-06:00

Remember Bill The Cat? The character in Bloom County that always had his tongue stuck out and who conveniently had the same color scheme as my cat? I caught Spartacus cleaning himself and took a picture at the perfect moment.

He also took a liking to one of my ties. He's pretty much ripped it to shreds. Finally I figured if he liked it so much I might as well let him wear it:

Juvenile cats and teeth

2009-02-10T17:02:00.004-06:00

The vet said that Spartacus had some adult teeth coming in to replace his baby teeth. Apparently the adult teeth come in, and then the baby teeth fall out. With humans, the baby teeth fall out and then the adult teeth come in. But for a few days, a cat has two canine teeth and he looks like some weird hybrid of a cat and a possum. It's freaky-deaky shit.

I am not sure if you can see the extra canine in this picture but this is him in attack mode and he has two left canines. His right baby canine came out this morning and my brother found it on the couch. Not being a weirdo I did not save it. Note the dilation of his eyes here. Sparty goes into a crazy mode about twice a day, and when he does, his eyes dilate, and there is no way on this earth anyone can catch him. He bounces off the walls until he's exhausted, then he hides for a while. After some rest, he comes out and wants to be my friend. After, of course, he has shredded my arms with his claws and ripped up my work shirts. The redeeming factor of this all is that he goes into these crazies the moment I come home and the moment I have to get up to go to work. I haven't had to use my alarm clock since I adopted him.

Spartacus and his monkey

2009-02-10T16:47:00.003-06:00

Spartacus got a sock monkey from Uncle Jim this Christmas and he loves....er, loves to kill it.

When the sock monkey came home, he was twice the size of Sparty. And he still loved to kill the monkey every chance he got. He's almost ripped the hat off the thing already. He grips the monkey around the shoulders, then bites its neck, and rips its stomach with his back legs. The monkey has proven to be quite sturdy. So far he hasn't frayed or been split open, something that cannot be said for the Bobo Sparty had when I first brought him home, or the squeaky mouse, which he tore the squeaky part out of. And now that Sparty is the same size as the monkey, I fear for Monkey. His days are numbered. He's been spared a terrible fate by the fact that the vet clipped the tips of Sparty's claws when he was down for his neutering. Lucky monkey. But you just wait until the tips come back. You're a dead monkey, Monkey.

He is Spartacus

2009-02-01T14:40:00.011-06:00

I know I have not posted much lately, but there is news:

I have joined the ranks of cat-bloggers.

His name is Spartacus and he is 6 months old. I adopted him at 2 months in early November. He is two toned, orange with stripes on top and white on the bottom.

He's been both a kind of pain and at the same time, good entertainment. Let me explain...

He was a farm cat. He grew up on my mom's 90 acres and was basically feral when adopted. So he was pretty wild. I credit my nieces for helping to tame him enough to be caught. Mom had about 4 kittens I could have adopted, but I chose the one who was the least tame, the most feisty because I wanted one that could earn the name I'd chosen.

And he did.

The first time I let him out of the carrier in my apartment, he ran off under my bed and didn't come out for quite a while. If I approached him, he'd hiss and growl at me. But as soon as he came to learn I was the only provider of food, he kind of warmed up to me. And every time I caught him I made sure to hold him for a few minutes and talk to him. And I learned cat-speak years ago when I had a cat on the farm named Floyd, so I used that a lot.

After a week or so, I gave him his first toy, a "bobo." This is just an elongated loofa dog thing he could play with. I also got him the house you see here. And some catnip. After maybe the first month, I was no longer late for work (I work from 11pm to 8am) because he would begin to wake me up at 9pm by getting on the bed and climbing onto my chest. And he still does this.

At 10am and 9am, every day, he goes batshit crazy. He tries to attack me, running at my legs or fleeing while arching his back when I pretend to be King Kong. All of this is play. It's rare that he actually scratches me (although early on, he'd go after my feet as I slept).

Over the last couple months, he's really calmed down and become a good companion. We still play the hit-and-run/King Kong game at the appointed hours, and he still wakes me up. But now he'll sit calmly while I type into the computer (like now).

Litterbox training went pretty smoothly. He's only had two incidents. One, when he was newly adopted, I count as inexperience (he peed on my bed and pillow, forcing me to buy new pillowcases and sheets). I moved him to the litterbox afterwards. No problems since. The other was when I replaced the old litterbox and he didn't really know I had and pooped right next to it.

Now we come to the best part. Through lots of television and movies and online videos and me talking around the apartment, Sparty TALKS. I don't mean he mimics talk. I mean when I came home yesterday and opened the door, he was waiting and he said, quite verbally, "Hello." And my brother gave him a stuffed monkey to play with for Christmas. I asked him, "Do you want your monkey?" and he said, "No."

Previously, he'd done some gibberish chatter not unlike an infant, but seriously...I could understand exactly what he was saying and it wasn't my mind playing tricks. And it would please any Aggie fan that when I came home today he said, "Howdy."

The first time....it freaked me out. Actually, it's STILL freaky. But it's cool all the same.

...Oh, and he's a little thief. Leave anything he can carry, like a pen, or a chapstick, or a chesspiece, lying around, and it disappears. I usually find these things in my laundry basket.

Sarah Palin - McCain's VP choice

2008-08-29T13:19:00.002-05:00

First off, I kind of thought this was going to happen.

Secondly, I think it's awesome.

And thirdly, I was listening to Rush Limbaugh and he mentioned that the majority of one of his staffers' female friends' objections to her was the fact that she's attractive. Heaven forbid!

These are pretty much the same feminists who have been swooning over Obama because he's so handsome.

Today...

2008-08-26T23:45:00.003-05:00

Is August 26.It's my Dad's birthday.

Dad passed away last Sept. 11 (just one more reason to keep that date in mind). So I thought I'd let you all know how things are going on the home front regarding this.

Today at 8AM we had a Catholic mass for Dad, and went for tacos afterwards. I admit I teared up a little when the priest mentioned my dad's name during the mass. It was short and not much theatricality. This is a church where the priest wears orange Chuck Taylor hi-tops.It was a time for reflection and celebration, really.

A partial list of the things my Dad gave me:
* A love of Simon and Garfunkel, and the solo projects of both.
* An appreciation of comedy in music in the form of Spike Jones.
* The skill to build cabinetry, plumbing, and just about any man-about-the-house things you can think of.
* A love of the outdoors

When someone passes away suddently, you don't really have time to grieve; you dig a hole and plant them. Sure there's some grieving done in the ceremony of it all, but then you move on, because you have to.It's days like this (and I'm sure 9/11/08 will be similar), when there's no burying or planning funerals to be done, when you have a true chance to measure the person you lost.

New endorsement for John Cornyn

2008-08-13T03:40:00.002-05:00

The Fraternal Order of Police.

I consider this important because every year for the last 4 or 5, I've donated annually to their fund for the families of fallen officers. There are not many things that get me to donate my (meager) funds charitably, but I consider this one very important. And it gives me a lot of satisfaction to know that the very people I support also support a Senator I feel has done a lot for not only Texas, but for this country.

Thanks, guys. Stay vigilant.

Ouch, Part 2

2008-08-05T12:08:00.003-05:00

Part 1 is here.

Last Monday morning, I was unloading a stack of bread off a truck (I work in a grocery store as you'll know if you read Part 1), and I raised up the dolly to push it under the bread trays. Normally, I position the dolly so I can give a big kick to it and slide it under. I was in a hurry because it was 5 minutes to the end of my shift, and I missed. I hit the back of the dolly (in a pretty sharp place) with my left shin.

It was pretty damn painful. I figured I'd have a bad bruise. It was actually so painful I limped outside and bit down on my fist, hard. Then I went to report the incident and get some ice.

When I finally rolled up my pant leg to survey the damage, I was a little shocked. Blood was literally pouring down my leg, soaking my sock and left foot. I put paper towels against it and applied pressure, but it probably wouldn't have been a bad idea to make a tourniquet, it was bleeding so fast.

A coworker brought some guaze pads and an Ace bandage, and I applied them and raced to the med clinic. They made me wait about 30 minutes before seeing me. I seriously thought I was going to faint from the blood loss before they checked me out.

When the nurse finally got the wrapping off and looked at it, she said, "Oh...you can see everything." When I asked her what that meant, she said, "Oh, nothing...you just cut it all the way down to the bone, that's all."

What??

Anyway, a long story to say that I got my first non-surgical stitches that day, 6 in all. It's healing quite nicely. I'm down to just having a band-aid on it now. I have to go back a week from today and have the stitches taken out.

Oh, and there was a hell of a lot of bruising and the bone was bruised. So just standing for a couple hours is painful.

<-------This is one of the injuries mentioned over there in the sidebar.

I Feel Safer Now

2008-08-05T12:05:00.002-05:00

I've been without a means of home defense (other than my Conan sword) for the last few years, and my neighborhood has gotten progressively more dangerous in that time, so I was in the market for a pump action shotgun.

$200 at the pawn shop got me a mint but used Remington 870 Express.

Yes, I feel safer now.

Can we possibly win?

2008-07-26T12:53:00.003-05:00

I posit this question only because of the fawning adulation of the MSM over Obama's overseas visit, and the concurrent non-coverage of McCain's quite reasonable claims that Obama's policies, which included opposing the surge, would have made the improvements in Iraq impossible.

And I can tell you, since I know someone who was there during the surge, that the improvements are real and substantive.

But I honestly fear that while this may be the last election that the MSM can really radically influence through their outright favoritism, we are actually at the nadir of their influence. This is the last year they can influence things in a major way, and as such, they've dropped all pretense, and gone full-bore for the Socialist.

And while I hope that this year is as my beloved mom says, "electing a place-holder," I'd rather that place-holder not be someone inclined to give us socialized medicine, the nationalization of the oil industry, and the stripping of my right to defend myself with arms.

...And I hope against hope, but let's face it...we truly won't know where this all is leading until election day. The last 3 or 4 elections have been decided by less than the margin of error. Unless one candidate is polling more than 10 points ahead of the other, there's no real reason to give up, or for that matter, to count the eggs in the basket.

What I'm saying is, I can't honestly believe that there are enough Americans who are gullible enough to make electing the Obamessiah a reality...but, really, there are. I can hope that enough people will be turned off by the smug arrogance and blatant stupidity of this man, but can I really believe that there are that many Americans still voting? Well, sure, I took a straw poll at a gun show and not one person there was going to vote for him...but that's at a gun show. That's like asking the people at a Comic-Con if they'd take Robin over the Silver Surfer.

I'm convinced that the knowledgable people who are actually going to vote will favor the war hero who anticipated the success of the surge over the guy who has less than 6 years in the Senate who opposed it from the get-go. My concern is people who know no better. And let's face it...the Democrats have done an outstanding job of registering people who have no business voting to do just that (and we won't even talk about the Democratic voters who are dead and who will surely be voting despite that fact).

In short, the margin of error is so small that just the most insignificant voter fraud in a very volitile state (say, Ohio, or Florida) will swing things their way.

So in the end, I think we CAN win. Whether we WILL, is an open question. My suggestion? In the event it looks bad election day, go buy some ammo. Be bitter and cling to your guns. And trust in the inevitable backlash that will come. It will. When you see a return to 55 mph speed limits, gasoline rationing, stagflation, and a complete drop in the respect our military has overseas, you know the end is coming. Their end.

We might lose this thing...I honestly hope we don't. But we might. Remain vigilant. Americans value their freedom, and we won't be denied. 4 years of idiotic leadership might be enough to smack us in the head. Whether it's a short enough time span to prevent the Iranians from getting nukes...is questionable. But to be honest, I don't think the Israelis are going to wait for us to come to our senses, so that shouldn't be an issue.

Senate Republicans hold the line

2008-07-25T11:58:00.001-05:00

Voting against cloture on an energy bill that does not end the moratorium on offshore drilling.

Kudos to my Senators, Cornyn and Huchison, for voting nay on this.

Maybe the Republicans do have a spine after all.

H/T Hot air.

RightOnline summit Day 2

2008-07-23T10:41:00.005-05:00

Lots of good speakers on Day 2. Michael Steele hit the ball out of the park with his speech. Texas Railroad Commission Chairman Michael Williams was nails. But the keynote speech was Michelle Malkin.

Possum Story

2008-07-22T23:53:00.003-05:00

It's been a couple weeks since this happened, but I guess it's time to tell the tale.

Setting the stage: It's a warm July night in Texas, I'm on my porch with the fire burning and some dead animal flesh (cow, in this instance) on the grill. I have a rocking chair on the porch and I'm sitting there reading a book. And I hear a rustling in the bushes that line my porch.I go inside, and retrieve my flashlight. I shine it into the bushes. And there it is...a possum. It turns its head and smiles...a whole mouthful of disgusting teeth. Then it looks back at me and stares at me.

Just inside the door, I have a sword...a replica of the sword that Conan had in the first movie. So I reached in there and pulled it out. With the sword in my right hand and the flashlight in my left, I approached the beast. It did not move.My intent was to scare the creature by swinging the sword down in front of its face. I raised the sword, brought it down with an "AAAAHAHAHAHA!!!" (imagine R. Lee Ermey's war face cry), and aimed about six inches from the front of the possum.

I guess my "war cry" startled Mr. Possum, because he lept forward, at just the right speed so that the blade of the sword hit him right in the neck, and honest to God, I took his head clean off.Now, I really didn't mean to do it. Really. But I think possums are vile evil creatures, so it wasn't really a loss. Still, there was the matter of disposing of the beast. I put on some gloves, picked up both pieces, and tossed them over the fence. That was it.

Ultimately, I did feel kinda bad for the little fella, but really...I grew up on a farm, and killing critters was never a big deal. Its only in the last few years that I've gotten kind of squeamish about it. Anyway, it is what it is. Call me a murderer, or whatever. One less possum is a good thing in my book.

Defending the American Dream Summit Day 1

2008-07-20T15:48:00.003-05:00

This week I have been on vacation, to help welcome home my brother James, from Iraq. He has done some political consulting in Austin in the past, and we went up for an Summit of bloggers and political types there; mostly a conservative event, although I did see quite a few libertarians and Ron Paul bumper stickers as well.

Across town, the Kos Krazies were having their own little shindig. But this post is not about their event, but ours.

This event was put together by the Americans For Prosperity Foundation, and it was enlightening on many levels. The first day consisted mostly of lectures aimed at getting bloggers more active in the wider conservative blogosphere. I chose for my first lecture the Sam Adams Alliance New Media Training Session. This was generally aimed at trying to develop ties within the greater right wing of the blogosphere. Mostly it consisted of experienced bloggers, some well known, some, like myself, not. I had meant to attend the Blogging 101 Session but it was full. I'm kind of glad I attended this one instead. I made a few contacts and met some people whose screen names I recognized from the comments of other blogs.

The next session I went to was the Americans For Prosperity New Media Training Session. This was hosted by Dan Gainor of the Business and Media Institute. Lots of good information, and lots of notes to take away with about how the MSM shows its bias.

My brother and I decided to skip the rest of the day, but he did go back for the dinner that evening, at which he was recognized by the host of the event, Peggy Venable, and got a standing ovation. His blog from Iraq was highly praised. Also, earlier in the day he was interviewed by the local NPR radio station and his interview made it onto the national broadcast.

Update: Travis Fell has links to lots of other posts on this topic.

Been Away

2008-07-20T14:53:00.003-05:00

I've been in Austin the last five days, attending the Americans for Prosperity conference, "Defending The American Dream." Lots of cool stuff to report from this, but I am waiting for my brother to upload the pictures before I go to much into detail.

The coolest bits were meeting Michelle Malkin and Michael Steele, as well as Robbie from Urbangrounds.com and Rightwingsparkle, who I only knew from Protein Wisdom.

My brother, just returned from Iraq, also attended the event and was recognized at the dinner event on the first evening. Really cool. Sad to say that I didn't attend that; I was catching up with an old friend that night.

More detailed post on this event to come.

The Black Troll

2008-06-30T11:44:00.002-05:00

Here's a new little ditty from Evil Muppet Project. Enjoy.

Hint

2008-06-15T14:51:00.002-05:00

When you're in the convenience store, and there are 5 or 6 people behind you in line, now is not a good time to purchase 7 different scratch-off lotto tickets using the change from your piggy bank.

Boots

2008-06-12T12:31:00.002-05:00

Now here is a post about a totally inane topic: boots.

Boots come in all forms and fashions, from hiking boots you lace up to your knee, to combat boots meant to be worn in battle, to the old-style pointy-toed Larry Mahans that the Texas Rangers wear.

I admit this: as a long time, avowed metalhead, most of the '80's I spent wearing Nikes and Kaepas, and I abhorred boots, because that's what everyone around me wore. I grew up on a farm. Boots were for work, and I surely didn't want to do THAT.

When I graduated and went to college, something snapped in me. Suddenly, I was surrounded by people wearing tight black jeans and Vans or Chuck Taylors. I kind of rebelled against this, and started to embrace the fact I was from the country. I broke my boots out of the closet. It's not that I never owned boots before; I always had. But now, I thought about the utility of wearing them. On weekends, I'd come home, and have to do typical farm work. My roomie used to say, "I know you're going home when you put on your boots." And that was the truth. But slowly, even at school, I began to wear them all the time.

I admit I'm not 100% Cowboy...my preferred style is Ropers, preferably Justins. Most people my age who bought them did so to go out two-steppin' to George Strait and Garth Brooks. My musical choices have always been on a much more extreme level (see the below Opeth post). But boots just have seemed more practical...no need to tie laces, and they go with everything from jeans to a suit.

Well, my sophomore year in college was when I bought the first pair of boots with my own money. Justin Ropers, brown, $80. Worth every penny. I wore them everywhere, to every class. One summer I was working for my dad, and I noticed the sole was starting to peel away from the upper. I told my dad, "time for new boots." He asked me, "John, where'd you get those boots?" I said, "Dad...I've had these boots for nearly 8 years!" And this began an epic of teasing for the next 15 years or so where my dad would tell me, "I didn't ask you how long you had those boots."

Anyway, he took me to a boot shop, and they stitched up that thing in about 15 minutes, and my boots were good as new. Those were good boots. One time, we were setting a fence post, and my older brother (I have no reason why) came up to me and said, "you think those boots could stop a BB?" And then, without hesitation, he pumped a pellet rifle about 8 times and proceeded to put the muzzle directly on the top of the arch of my right foot and let it go.

The BB went through the leather, but my skin and sock stopped it. It didn't break the skin, but there was a bruise from the end of my toes to my ankle for two weeks. The only indication something had happened was a little hole in the top of my boot.

That was the beginning of the end for my "college boots." I'd started working at a health food store, and had been promoted to assistant store manager, and they were my footwear of choice. And now, I had to find new boots.

So I bought a pair of (I don't know the brand) Ropers that were on sale for $39. And they were tight. So I determined I'd break them in. I spent a week wearing them to work, and suffering, before I gave in and said enough. No way they'd break in.

And here is where I get to the crux of buying boots. You MUST buy boots that are wide enough for your foot. I have small feet...there's no getting around that; my mom wears a little girl's 3 1/2 shoe. But small as they are, for their size, they are wide. I have a narrow heel, a wide ball. This is one of the reasons that I wore Kaepas in high school (the double uppers really helped the fit).

So, failing to break in those new Ropers, I vowed never to buy anything but Justins. And I also looked inside the upper and checked the exact size of my beloved old boots: 6 D.

So, a year or so after I took the job at my curent employer, I went to the store and sought out Justin Ropers, size 6D. I figure...they'll fit perfect. They had 'em, although not in brown, but some roughed-up leather finish called "apache." They looked almost like Red Wings. But they fit, so I bought them.

I went back less than a week later, thinking, I need boots for special occasions, and bought the same size in black.

So I had identical boots in black and "apache." These have served me well. And I've had them for damn near 10 years. I wore the apache's much more than the black ones, so the black ones have held up better. About a year ago, I noticed serious wear in the soles of the apaches, which I figured was coming, so I took them and had them re-soled in rubber (they came with leather soles), so that they'd be more comfortable at work. And they came out rather well.

But...Apache is a distressed finish, which is rough, kind of like suede. The guy who re-soled the boots thought mine were just un-polished. So he put brown shoe polish on them, repeated times, and buffed them to a high sheen. But, they were never brown to begin with, and so now they were not exactly Apache, not exactly brown. I tried all kinds of things to get the old finish back, because I really liked it, but to no avail. A few weeks ago, I stepped in a puddle and felt wetness on the ball of my foot; the leather had split there; a result, I think, of the polishing and later cracking of the leather.

Anyway, this meant, of course, that I've been wearing the black Ropers to work. I prefer to wear them for special occasions, so I decided I needed new boots. I dropped off the old Apache's at Goodwill.

And I went to the boot store. Yeah. I live in Texas. We have boot stores.

I was dismayed. I wear size 6D in Ropers. The boot store (unnamed but it's a major outlet) once carried my size, but no longer. The clerk said, "Justin doesn't make 6D Ropers," so I pulled off my boot and showed him the printing in the upper that said "Justin, 6D, Made in U.S.A."

Still, he said, "I think they stopped making that size because people are bigger."

That got me thinking...people ARE bigger. The amount of leather it took to make my ropers probably is nothing to the amount it takes to make Dave Robinson's. But I digress.

The guy was very helpful. He said that I could use the Larry Mayhan website and specify boots to my exact foot shape. Now, that WOULD be cool, only, much more expensive. Then he said, "I think I have smaller sizes in the boy's section."

I am not proud. I stand 5'4" and weigh 110 lbs. I have a 28" waist. I wear boys' underwear, boys' pants, and boys' shirts. So boys' boots? No prob.

I found them in 5 1/2. Apache leather, rubber sole. Apparently, they won't make boys' boots with leather soles. Hell, that doesn't bother me, because I am buying them to work in and I'd have to have it resoled in rubber anyway.

But here's the thing...8 or 9 years ago, I could buy a boot in 6 D that fit me. Now, they don't make it, and the one that fits me is a 5 1/2 boy's size. I know I am not shrinking...is everyone else still growing?

Review: Opeth - Watershed

2008-06-05T12:10:00.005-05:00

Opeth:
Mikael Åkerfeldt, vocals and guitar
Martin Mendez, bass guitar
Per Wiberg, keyboards
Martin Axenrot, drums
Fredrik Åkesson, guitar.

Produced by Mikael Åkerfeldt and Jens Bogren

So, it's been three years since Ghost Reveries, and Opeth has changed a little, personnel-wise. The thing we all wanted to know was if the sound of Opeth changed, and if it's still Opeth.

Well, it's still Opeth, but the sound has changed. All in a good way. This is far and away the most progressive thing they have done, and again, it's a good thing. Per Wilberg's keyboards are much more integrated, Fredrik Åkesson (formerly of Arch Enemy) adds a shredder's mentality to a lot of the solos, and Martin Axenrot, I'd already seen what he could do from live videos. It's not the classic Blackwater Park lineup, but it's as good, maybe better.

What can you say about a band that's never had a bad release? Consistent, for sure. Actually, almost god-like. I'm a big fan of progressive music, and yet even I have found some releases by my favorite bands, Rush and Dream Theater, to be uneven. How can Opeth consistently put out challenging material that really moves the listener? I think the real answer lies somewhere in Mikael Åkerfeldt's brain. He's really the man behind all of this madness. But the truth is that he does a fantastic job of integrating quality musicians into the band and making sure their contributions add something to the whole.

Let's face it...there is not a better rock/metal/prog, whatever you want to call it, band on this planet today.

So how good is Watershed? Here's a track-by-track review. I've had 4 listens and on my 5th now, so I think I can actually do it some justice now.

1. Coil. Acoustic ballad. Very unlike most Opeth albums that start with the death metal up front and then sneak in the softer stuff later on (with the exception of the all-clean Damnation). It would fit nicely on that album, actually. Good counterpoint from the bass on this one. The chorus is haunting, and interesting choice to go for the resolution at the end of it to the major key. Nice guest female vocalist. Really nice song, the kind of thing that fans of Damnation would go for. But hardcore Opeth fans should not be disappointed, because this song lasts all of 3 minutes, and then we get to

2. Heir Apparent. Opens heavy, little keyboard interlude, very delicate, and then your head gets crushed with some of the heaviest chords Opeth has ever recorded. Mikael Åkerfeldt's growl comes back, perhaps the most brutal it's ever sounded. Midway through, we are treated to the real contribution of Fredrik Åkesson to this mix, as he throws down a truly shredding solo, then the acoustics come in, and we hear soft flutes over this. Nice change of pace. Then it comes in heavier than even before (if that is possible). Not a single clean vocal on this song. It's all brutal death growl. The weird, off-kilter rhythms are handled nicely by Axenrot.

3. The Lotus Eater. Starts off with Mike humming, and then, comes in heavy, but with clean voices interspersed with death growls. This song....totally prog, but that's coming up. Tempo change, then into a section that sounds almost Dream Theater, were it not for the keyboard sounds, which are far more King Crimson than that band. Mellotron sounds...always do that. Brief Mellotron interlude, then back to the meat of the song, and yet there's still more this song gives you...at 5:48 here comes the really cool stuff...proggiest thing they've ever done...counterpoint keys, then the final chorus, and finally you're done.

4. Burden. This is by far the most King Crimson-style track on the album, mostly made so by the Mellotron, and a melody that, at least to me, evokes "Starless" from Red. Here, Mikael Åkerfeldt's vocals are really at their most heartfelt. Very good song, not heavy, but very progressive, sort of like another outtake from Damnation. As that is my previous favorite Opeth album, this is, of course, a good thing. Wait for the Hammond B-3 organ solo...ohhhhh. The ending may put some people off...it's just a little classical guitar playing the same part over while someone is detuning it, then Mikael Åkerfeldt's evil laugh at the end. I like those kinds of things, though, and it doesn't detract from how kickass this song is.

5. Porcelain Heart. This is the first single, and the video I've seen really cuts it up too much. You lose a lot of what makes the song great by editing it for mass consumption. I understand the reasoning; I'll just choose to listen to the full song. It's better.

6. Hessian Peel. At almost 11 minutes, this is the longest track on the album. It's worth it. Verses with lots of Mellotron swells. Lots of actual orchestration by real violins, as well. Midway comes the fun, with truly heavy parts and growls we've grown accustomed to. This is the song where Martin Axenrot really shines. His fills on this song are just out of this universe. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he's got a third arm hidden somewhere.

7. Hex Omega. Very spacey, lots of changes, lots of keyboards, but there are still plenty of heavy parts to sate the diehards. Ending with a chord where a pipe organ ends it all.

Bottom line: There will be some who will be disappointed that this isn't another Morningrise or Still Life, but those people need to move on and understand the the point of being progressive is to progress. And Opeth has, on every release, seemingly getting stronger all the time. I think this is their most progressive album to date, their most diverse release. I'd hesitate at this point to say it's as great as Blackwater Park, but it is great. It's a fantastic collection and I think it will only get better the more I listen to it.

10/10.

C

BSG: The Road Less Traveled.

2008-05-03T13:36:00.003-05:00

1. Kara's crew mutinies and it looks like they're going to abandon the search for Earth and go crying back to Adama. Pussies.

2. Tory sleeps with Baltar again.

3. Baltar reaches out to Chief. Chief takes his hand. Homosexuals rejoice.

4. Not one scene of Adama or Roslin. Good. Their relationship is getting horribly sappy.

5. Not one scene with Apollo. Good. Tired of his being manipulated.

6. WTF? Helo is Kara's #1 ally....and then he's the one who instigates the revolt. He went from having doubts but doing his duty regardless, to being the evil mastermind behind the mutiny.

7. Felix is a Cylon. He's the one stirring up Kara's crew. I find him to be the most likable character on the show, and then in the last two weeks he's become Mr. Asshole. Can't take orders from a girl, Felix? Dipshit.

8. Baltar's message is spreading, but nobody important really cares. So says Tory.

9. Chief shaved his head, and now he looks exactly like Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket. This shows promise. Maybe R. Lee Ermey will show up as the 12th Cylon model. One can dream.

10. Tory's schnozz is huge. Girl's body is super-hot, but they indulge in a profile shot of her like 7 times in every scene she's in...and I can't help but notice how huge, and crooked, her nose is. Chief, punch her for me. Maybe you can break it back into place. God, her booger vacuum is enormous. Aren't the Cylons supposed to be perfect? How could they have screwed that up?

If I were Dictator

2008-05-01T21:53:00.006-05:00

Rachel Lucas and John Hawkins tackled this question today, and I liked some of their solutions. Rachel says it should become a meme. I aim to help her by posting my answer to the question.

Question: Suppose you were elected Temporary Supreme Dictator of America.
What are 10 laws you would pass/repeal or government programs you would create/tear down? (Assume that you are in office for however long it would take to do these five things and that any changes you make will remain in place after you leave office.)

1. Edit the 2nd Amendment to the following: "The right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. Ever. Period. Seriously, we mean it."

2. Designate every May 1 as "Beat the Crap out of a Hippie Day." It would be the one day when public beatings would be allowed.

3. Build a wall identical to the one portrayed in "Escape From New York" at the border. Complete with the guard dogs, attack helicopters, and armed guards. Unfortunately, Lee Van Cleef is dead, so appoint Dick Cheney head of the Border Police. Anyone who actually manages to get across has shown the kind of fortitude and guts it takes to be an American citizen, and will be immediately sworn in. While we're at it, not a bad idea to build the same kind of wall around San Francisco.

4. Instant execution of everyone on Death Row by firing squad. Think of the money this would save.

5. Waiver of "animal cruelty" laws for anyone accused of doing such to cats. Cruelty to cats should be encouraged.

6. Make Leo Fender and Les Paul's birthdays national observances.

7. Nuke Tehran. Let the Syrians know they're next. Then, nuke Damascus.

8. Force the NCAA to have a playoff system to decide a national champion in football.

9. From this day forward it will be illegal to insult, through ejection of bodily fluids, or to assault by physical means, any person currently on active duty with the forces of the United States military, punishable by a towel party thrown by 10 U.S. Marines.

10. Make cowboy boots with business suits mandatory attire for all members of the Legislature.

About the surge...

2008-04-28T14:00:00.005-05:00

I really can't add any more than my brother, who's there.

Solos I actually know

2008-04-28T12:11:00.006-05:00

My cousin emailed me about guitar today (he plays as well) and in my response I thought I'd send him a list of songs that I actually know the solos to. Most of the time, even when gigging, I do not take the time to learn a solo note-perfect, just because I think that's the guitarist's statement, but I have my own to make. I can improvise pretty well. But, you know, there are some songs that are just too iconic to change the solos to. Or, the solo's so damn cool that there is no reason not to learn it so you can be as cool as that guy. I thought I knew maybe 10 or 20, but when I finished the list, it was much bigger. I guess I should be proud. But instead, I feel...empty. I'd rather think I was lazier than this. But here you go. The list is alphabetical.

1. AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long

2. Alice In Chains - Man In The Box

3. Boston - More Than A Feeling

4. Boston - Peace of Mind

5. Def Leppard - Photograph

6. Eagles - Hotel California

7. Emerson, Lake and Palmer - From The Beginning

8. Free - All Right Now

9. King Crimson - Red

10. King's X - Over My Head

11. Led Zeppelin - Stairway To Heaven

12. Led Zeppelin - The Lemon Song

13. Led Zeppelin - What Is And What Should Never Be

14. Lynyrd Skynyrd - Freebird (anyone worth his salt should know this...if you don't I will teach you :))

15. Metallica - The Four Horsemen

16. Metallica - Jump In The Fire

17. Metallica - Seek And Destroy

18. Metallica - Fade To Black

19. Opeth - Ending Credits

20. Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train

21. Ozzy Osbourne - Goodbye To Romance

22. Pink Floyd - Time (I've been meaning to get around to "Comfortably Numb" but I keep forgetting to do it)

23. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

24. Queen - Keep Yourself Alive

25. Queen - Doin' Alright

26. Queen - We Will Rock You

27. Queen - Killer Queen

28. Queensryche - Silent Lucidity (the only QR solo I know...but I had to learn it for a band I was in)

29. Robin Trower - Bridge of Sighs

30. Robin Trower - Day of the Eagle

31. Rush - 2112 Overture (one of my favorite solos of all time)

32. Rush - A Passage To Bangkok

33. Rush - Closer To the Heart

34. Rush - Xanadu

35. Rush - Bastille Day

36. Rush - Anthem

37. Rush - Fly By Night

38. Rush - The Trees

39. Rush - Tom Sawyer

40. Rush - YYZ

41. Rush - The Spirit of Radio

42. Rush - Finding My Way

43. Rush - What You're Doing

44. Rush - In The Mood

45. Rush - Working Man (I guess you could say I know lots of Rush songs...lol)

46. Thin Lizzy - The Boys Are Back In Town

47. Thin Lizzy - Cowboy Song (there are two solos here and I know them both...the second one (I think it's Brian Robertson) is the better one))

48. Triumph - Lay It On The Line

49. Van Halen - Panama

50. Van Halen - Eruption (I'm fully aware I should know more VH but I'm lazy)

I'll tell you that in learning those solos, I learned a whole lot of tricks. Especially from the Rush and Robin Trower stuff. And not to mention just playing along to stuff like Jeff Beck's "Blow By Blow" and improvising over the chord changes (there's no way on earth I could actually PLAY "Scatterbrained").

Sleepers

2008-04-28T12:08:00.008-05:00

I seem to be the kind of dude that stumbles upon these "accidents" more often than others. A guitar that costs much less than it should, but performs way above its perceived value.

My first electric guitar was a $150 Lotus Strat copy. Being a poor college student, I spent a few dollars modifying it, and when it got to its final state it was the BOMB. Just because I am proud of what I did, I'll let you in to what it was.

It started off just like any other Strat, although the Lotus brand name on the headstock annoyed me. Inspired by Alex Lifeson's "Hentor" guitar, I took off the tuners, sanded down the front of the headstock, and used rub-off letters to write "Sheba: Queen of the East" on it. Then I used ordinary varnish to cover it up so it wouldn't rub off.

Then, I replaced the stock tuners (god, they were horrible) with Grovers. In this form, the guitar was pretty good, and served me for the last year of high school. And then, the next summer, between high school and college, I formed my first band and realized that the pickups, at band volumes, squealed and made all kinds of unacceptable noise. I guess I could have done the old wax trick on them, but I didn't want to ruin or damage them. So I went out and bought an EMG single-coil and stuck that in the bridge. It was a passive EMG. The result is that its output was way, way lower than the others, and it had no buzz or hum and certainly didn't squeal at volume. In fact, at that time I was slaving one amp, on full distortion, into another, also on full gain. I'd play at damn near 150 db and that guitar would only feed back if you took your hands off the strings for more than 5 seconds. It resulted in the ability to totally control the feedback if I wanted to for sustain, or to just have no feedback at all.

At the time I was using a green Ibanez Tube Screamer, and with that, and the front pickup, I could get Stratty sounds that would have made SRV orgasm. The next modification I made, was a result of blocking off the vibrato arm (something I did early on). I still needed some kind of punch to open notes, and tremelo seemed like a good idea. So I put an on/off toggle switch in the circuit between the EMG and the volume knob. Now, I could do that tremelo thing from "You Really Got Me" on a Strat.

The guitar came with a fully laquered neck much like my current '50's Classic. Somewhere along the line, I took 00 steel wool and smoothed out the back of the neck (it was V-contoured by the way, one of the reasons I went after that contour again for my Classic).

And then, finally, I un-blocked the vibrato, took the arm and stuck it in a vise, and increased its angle from 90 degrees to 110, giving me a full octave of downtune.

And that is the pinnacle of the guitar's development: A Strat that never fed back, sounded like a Strat when I wanted, sounded like nails when I wanted to do metal, and stayed in tune. I think the total investment, spread over 8 years or so, was probably $300. And later in Sheba's life, when I became a total Queen fanatic, she proved capable of mimicing Brian May's tone to a T.

I wish I could say all was well, but, you know, after about 12 years of constant flogging (most of her life, she was my only guitar), most guitars need a fret job, and there is just no sense in re-fretting a 12-year old $150 guitar. Slowly, I took various parts from her to modify other guitars. Before too long, there just wasn't any of the same character left in the old girl. The frets were totally worn, the fretboard had the same worn look as EVH's Frankenstrat, and she was just...well, tired. As a final act of compassion, I dismantled her, and threw her parts in a dumpster over the course of a few days. I kind of wish I had at least saved the neck, because that headstock with "Sheba: Queen of the East," was one-of-a-kind.

And you know what? For the last 10 years since her passing, I've been seeking that sound. That tone. That something, a mojo, that that guitar had. I finally found it when I bought a Powerhouse Strat and put a Hot Rails in the bridge. At some point, it will receive the toggle switch. The "Sheba II" logo...maybe.

This is the only photo I have of her:

At least I still have the shirt.

BSG: Escape Velocity

2008-04-26T10:50:00.002-05:00

Here's my review of yesterday's episode of Battlestar Galactica.

Baltar: We are all perfect because God loves us, and I live with thirty women.

Sounds a hell of a lot like Joseph Smith.

Nice to see the Four embracing their Cylon natures. First Tory kills Callie and tries to seduce Baltar. Then Chief sabotages a Raptor and openly insults Adama. Now Tigh loses his shit and lets Six beat the crap out of him, and when she tries to stop he tells her to keep going because he's learning to shut off the pain.

...And who knows what Anders was about to do there.

Exit question: Is Hotdog CAG now? I like that dude. Bonus that he's played by EJO's son.

I'm still of the opinion that Kara is NOT the final Cylon. The trinary system she saw on the way to Earth is the same one that Starbuck was marooned on in the original series. And that was on the way to Earth.

There's no way the producers could get away with having Baltar be #12. After leading us on all this time, it's just inconceivable that he'd turn out to be a Cylon all along (although it would explain why he and Caprica 6 never conceived).

Also, hilarious to me that Chief finally openly expressed his hatred for Callie. Him being a Cylon certainly explains why he beat the crap out of her.

Final Cylon: is it possible, just possible, that one of the final 5 was killed in the initial attack? I mean...50K people survived out of a culture of billions. It stands to reason that's more than one in five. Actually, it's kind of unbelievable that even one or two of them could have survived. So let's go down the list of characters and see who the last one could be:

Adama: highly unlikely. We know he fought in the first war, had two sons, and if he IS a Cylon, that makes Lee a hybrid. Scary thought, though, if true.
Roslin: This is my personal choice. If she's a Cylon, that truly explains her manipulative and tyrannical reign.
Starbuck: I already explained why I think she is not
Lee: very possible. Perhaps a hint placed when he asked what his dad would do if Zak was a Cylon.
Baltar: too obvious.
Agathon: not possible. I don't think the Cylons can interbreed.
Gaeta: highly possible. It would piss me off, though, because I think he's one of the coolest characters on the show.
Dualla: would be cool if she was. Think of the havok she could wreak on the bridge.
Zarek: I have a feeling that it's in Richard Hatch's contract that he is not a Cylon. He's just a manipulative Commie Teamster human. Basically he's Galactica's Jimmy Hoffa.
Dr. Cottle: Now THAT would get messy in a hurry.
Minor characters like Seelix, Racetrack, or Hot Dog probably wouldn't make the Cylon cut.

Long shot: Billy: What if they start an episode with him waking up in a tank? Ohhhh....

McCain campaign slogan

2008-04-24T17:34:00.003-05:00

Since I am completely convinced by others' comparisons of McCain to Col. Tigh of Battlestar Galactica, I have a campaign slogan for him.

Tigh '08: He's a ruthless terrorist-killing MACHINE.

Or something like that.

BSG update

2008-04-20T13:53:00.004-05:00

So, I guess it's time I chime in about the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica, and my thoughts on it.

I watched it twice, to really get some of the nuances of it. So here we go.

1. Nice scene between Roslin and Adama with him reading at her bedside. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear they were lovers.

2. I love the fact that at least one of the four new Cylons is embracing her evil side. Tory airlocking Cally was awesome.

3. Starbuck is going insane, but if she told me to frak her I would. She's going to have a kid, I swear it, and it's going to be Anders'. That'll make 3 hybrid kids if you count the Chief's.

4. Lee Adama is not the worthy successor to Richard Hatch's Apollo. I mean, when he's in a Viper, he kicks ass, but any other time he's either being led around by someone, or mooning over Starbuck. This has to stop. Hopefully, the real article (Zarek) will hammer some sense into him.

5. Weapons locker 1701-D? Like nobody's going to catch THAT.

6. WTF with sending all of Galactica's most qualified pilots out on a crazy mission? I mean, they let Kara hand-pick her crew, but jeez...the only pilot left in the fleet practically is Apollo. And he don't want to fly.

Finally, some thoughts on the season thus far:

1. The Cylons didn't send the song to the Five. They were as surprised as anyone that they were with the fleet. And why didn't they send the song to them? Because Cylons don't know the frakking lyrics to "All Along The Watchtower." Get ready for the ultimate twist ending. When they find Earth, we're going to find out that WE are all Cylons. Or, Bob Dylan is.

2. Kara is not the fifth Cylon. She's telling the truth about having been to Earth. She mentions repeatedly a trinary system on the way to Earth. Folks, this is a direct reference to "The Return of Starbuck" from Galactica 1980. In that episode, Starbuck crash-lands on a planet with three suns. He ends up sending a child up in a makeshift space raft, and the child is picked up by Galactica on its way to Earth.

3. As for Tory murdering Cally, it's hard to say whether she did it because she was a Cylon. I mean, she could have done it for some very human reasons. She's attracted to Chief, she witnessed Cally about to commit suicide and murder her son. A son, by the way, who is half-cylon. Anyway, if Tory allowed Cally to live, they'd all be exposed, and they'd get the airlock. So it's no surprise and not necessarily a Cylon but a human reaction to the fear of being outed as a traitor.

It was a good episode. Could have done without the Starbuck crap. The Cally subplot could have and should have carried the whole episode.

Tory is hot....hot...hot.

City of Villains

2008-04-20T13:42:00.003-05:00

I've been playing City of Heroes for quite some time, took about a year off, and came back in November to work on my lower level characters (mainly, The Groovy Cat). I already have a level 50 (that's the max in the game) named OTC Conan. So I found out that just by paying about 20 bucks and then updating your COH client, you can play City of Villains. So...I created a villain and he's doing well. I got him up to level 4 before getting him killed.

I named him after a character in my brother's book (The Surrealistic Poets of Atlag): Karlak The Demented. He would be proud.

The Greatest Group Rock Vocal Performance...Ever

2008-04-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

And you should hear the a capella version.

Missed Good Friday

2008-03-22T12:53:00.000-05:00

But still, today, I am listening to the original cast recording of "Jesus Christ, Superstar."

This is a significant event in my family. Every Easter, my late father used to have a party, and he had a reel-to-reel tape of this recording, and about 30 copies of the script typed up. Guests would sit around and read the script while he played this on his huge (for the '70's) stereo.

One of my favorite memories of childhood was this album, with lots of great performances. Dad learned a good number of the songs on the piano; his version of "I Don't Know How To Love Him," and "Herod's Song" were great displays of keyboard pyrotechnics. I can play piano pretty well, but I'll never be able to do the things my old man did. Great player.

When I got into heavy metal, around 1983, one of the first albums I bought was the Deep Purple reunion album, "Perfect Strangers," and I recognized the name of the singer, Ian Gillan, as the voice of Jesus on the Original Cast Recording of JCS. Blew my mind. But he plays the part awesomely. "Gethesmane," in particular, is kick-ass.

I think it is the greatest rock musical ever done. Debate all you want, but you're wrong. I listen to it every Good Friday. I took my iPod to work intending to listen to it yesterday, only to realize that a few months ago I removed it.

Well, now I'm listening to it and it kicks ass. People forget that Andrew Lloyd Weber wrote some unconventional parts for this play. "Everything's Alright" is in 5/4 time. Yet, you don't even feel like it's off-time.

Great music. Listen to it before Easter. You should.

If I had a parrot...

2008-03-18T13:26:00.000-05:00

Every day, when I went to work, I would put in the Evil Dead and Mad Max trilogies and leave them running. It would be cool to have a parrot say "Come Get Some," or "The Ayatolla of Rock and Rolla!"

...just saying.

I Talk in my Sleep, and other Dream Stuff

2008-03-11T16:29:00.000-05:00

...as for how I know this, I leave it to your imagination. If you're thinking something sinful, you're right...

Anyway, I took a nap this morning (this is something I do when I start my day off, so that the next day off I can have a full day to go out to the farm and work). I had this series of dreams which was what I'm calling "the Darkness" and I'm thinking of writing a poem calling "Master The Darkness" which I can turn into a song.

So here's what happened. I climbed in bed about 10 AM, and I had this dream. First, it was just this dream about my niece and my sister. She was having a tantrum, and my sister was having to deal with it. Apparently my niece had done something wrong. And she covered for me by saying that "Daddy let me do it," and then my sister said, "No, I know that Uncle Conan helped you." For some reason my fear of being caught caused me to wake up...

...only, I didn't wake up. I woke up in a room I recognized as my room from childhood, and then all these people in doctor's coats were walking on the ceiling and reaching out for me...and a siren began to go off, and then I said, "Wake up, Conan," and I woke up. I started wondering, since I'd been told I talk in my sleep (I think this has started since I quit drinking), I'll just see. I was still sleepy, so I started Goldwave on my computer, and started recording, then hopped back in bed.

This time, I had a dream where I rolled over in bed, and this gorgeous brunette was lying beside me, in black stockings and a nightie. She looked up at me and said, "you should wake up now, Conan." I rolled over on top of her and I'll spare the details, but she said, "wake up before the Darkness comes, Conan." And then I heard the siren again, she had this look of horror on her face, like she knew she would die when I woke up (which is, actually, kinda technically true), and I said, "wake up, NOW, Conan!" to myself. And I woke up.

I've said before, I can control my dreams, and sometimes, when things get out of hand, like a monster I can't beat or a circumstance I can't control, I do that...I wake myself up.

But it was kind of creepy to get up, look at the clock, find that what seemed like 5 minutes had actually been an hour. And even creepier to see there was an actual waveform on my computer screen, which had both the pillow talk I'd be having with the ethereal brunette, and my command to wake myself up.

Seriously. I had recorded proof I talk in my sleep. Only I am pretty sure the reason is that for the majority of my dreams, I'm semi-conscious, so I'm really saying these things from a near-conscious state.

And as I dressed to go to the health food store(for vitamins), I realized I was still tired. My sleep had become interrupted. I said to myself, "I must master the Darkness." My dreams are MINE and I won't let them scare me. I have controlled them before. In fact, I will become the Master OF the Darkness.

Now, I'm fairly certain that the term "The Darkness" comes from the movie Silent Hill, which I've seen lately, but in my case, the way the chick was saying it, was that "The Darkness" is deep REM sleep, in other words, when my eyes are closed. I could have had a whole string of these dreams this morning (it's happened before, but in that case I kept seeing terrorists in the windows) but I had errands to run.

It is kinda cool that I can wake up, go to the bathroom, go back to bed, and pick up my dreams where they started. Lucid dreaming is COOL.

Anyway, here's the other dream:

I’m in a grocery store shopping with a blonde woman and her two young girls. I’m some sort of federal agent charged with protecting her and her children. We buy grahahm crackers and milk. I’m walking out the store with the two girls and I mention to her, “you know, somebody might see my blonde hair and think these girls are mine.” She replies, “well, do you think you would fit in?” I say, “yeah, I think so.” I joke with both little girls as they’re strapped into the car. The driver, Ryan, is ready to go. She gets in the passenger seat and I hand her a walkie talkie and say, “I’m only this far away.” As they start to pull away, I notice a black sedan circling the parking lot. It pulls around and into the path of her car, and I yell into the walkie, “Ryan, hold up!” He hits the brakes, and the sedan's doors are thrown open and two men get out with pistols and start shooting people, seemingly randomly, but working their way to the car I’m protecting. I pull out my 1911 just in time to save a woman from being shot in the back of the head, and then it jams.

…and then I woke up.

Update: I just remembered there was another dream in this morning's series, which also ended with the Darkness coming. Something about a party, with all these people, at my parents' place, before we had remodeled it, and my late dad was there, with longer hair like he had in his youth, still young, but with bare feet with dirt on them. I instantly, within the dream, knew that the dirt represented him as a farmer. Everyone I knew was there, having a good time, before the Darkness came.

NFL - return TDs

2008-03-08T01:24:00.002-06:00

Seems like all last season there were TD returns of kickoffs and punts, pundits talking about rules changes favoring the returners, etc...

...I'm sorry, but I spend a lot of time watching NFL.com, watching highlights on their awesome video page, and I have one thing to say about this.

The returners, guys like Dante Hall, Devin Hester, and Terence Mathis of the Texans, are returning more kicks for TDs because of coaching. Watch TD returns by Billy "Whiteshoes" Johnson, and you see one guy just totally outrunning the opponents. Watch any Hester or Hall return, and many times they are not even the first guy to cross the goal line. They're following their blockers. This is a radical shift.

Put simply, today's players have been coached by the special teams coaches to keep their blockers ahead of them, and it's paid off. I'm a traditionalist, and I love watching those old returns by Whiteshoes and those guys, but there is truly something magical and cool about returners using their team mates to screen out the defense. Until opposing special teams coaches figure out a way to break wedges and defeat lead blockers, this is only going to continue. Is it good for the game? Watch Antonio Cromartie's 109 yard missed field-goal return and tell me it isn't. Because that is just AWESOME.

[OTC]Conan profile

2008-03-04T23:59:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I believe I have posted before that my blog name here comes from my gaming persona. On many of the blogs and message boards I go as otcconan. This usually leads to people calling me "otc" for short. This is a misnomer, because "otc" could refer to at least 13 people (currently) in our gaming clan. The proper way to refer to me would be "conan" or "C", as the folks in OTC call me. My given name is John, but when I've hung out with the folks from the clan (when they came to visit me, and when I went to a wedding of two of them), they called me Conan or C. In fact, at one point we were in a grocery store and they yelled "John" at me three times and I didn't respond until they called out "heya Conan..."

I prefer, online, to use the name Conan, just because it's cool. Also, because it's the greatest movie ever made. And also, because, well, John is a common name. Now, I'm not embarrassed by my name. In fact, the Bible says John was the "beloved of God." But you know, there are people who like to play with that name. For example, people think they're being formal if they call me "Jonathan." Message: that is NOT MY NAME. Was "Jonathan" an apostle? No, don't think so. Johnny is ok, by me. But I tell you, calling me "Jonathan" is going to get a non-reply, because it isn't my name. Sorry if I'm sensitive about this.

Oh, and "Jack" is ok, though rarely used, except early in my childhood by my dad.

Here, forthwidth is my OTC clan profile. I composed it. I think it's rather clever. It ties in with our clan's involvement with the game of Half-Life, so there are some game-specific things there. Enjoy. It's funny, in a way.

Given Name: Conan
Age: 23
Last Known Location: Oxford, England

Fighting Style: Melee
Weapon of Choice: Anything made of steel
Favorite Quote: "You’ve just learned the riddle of steel."
Comments: Subject is currently unaccounted for. Reports indicate that he may have traveled from Oxford to China, for the purpose of obtaining ancient artifacts of steel.

Subject # 006703 (aka) Conan the Librarian
Black Mesa’s experiments with resonance cascades in the late ‘90’s had many unexpected results; the best known of these was a dimensional shift that allowed the transportation of alien species to Earth from the previously undiscovered planet of Xen. The other, and less publicized outcome, of these experiments was the opening of a singularity, or (in layman’s terms) a rift in the time-space continuum. As a result of this rift, it was theoretically possible for persons from our time to travel to another time; however, there was no telling where on the earth one would be transported, and as a result, no one from Black Mesa, not even the subject Gordon Freeman, was foolish enough to enter it. Because of the uncertainty of where one would be transported on the globe, the chances of finding the rift and returning through it before it closed were just too slim to make the venture feasible.

However, there was one individual who did enter this singularity, although instead of entering it from our time, he entered it from an unknown time; as he was able to communicate to us, from a time of great adventure (our translation of his language was very shaky at best when he first arrived). What this individual was able to communicate, however, was amazing. From his dress, experts were able to decipher that he was probably of Scandinavian origin. However, the articles he carried were obviously from many varied regions, indicating he was a man of great travel. Within weeks, however, he had mastered English so well that he spoke it as fluently as his own ancient Norse tongue. This baffled our experts, until they discovered that he was a man of some importance in his time, charged with maintaining historical and written records for some time in a country in the east, probably the Ming Dynasty of China.

This man related us stories that many before would have thought only as myths, stories about dragons and sorcerers and many animals that were thought to be extinct by the time of man. He told us his name was Conan The Librarian, and that after his family had been slain by a vicious race who happened to prize minds over steel, he had been taken as a slave and tutored in reading and high art. But his time at this was short, for when he reached adulthood, he rebelled and became a warrior after the nature of his fathers.

The researchers at Black Mesa believed that Conan had great value as a subject, in that he could tell us many things that we had previously not known about his time; but he became unable to control after learning that he was not to be set free and returned to his own time. The Black Ops team was called in after he had bludgeoned several scientists with a crowbar that he probably found in an unlocked toolbox.

After several Black Ops personnel were also killed in this manner, the team was pulled out, and a stand-down and watch was placed on Block 7 of Black Mesa, with the intent of smoking him out with tear gas. Unbeknownst to the team, someone inside aided Conan in his escape, and when they finally did enter Block 7, he was missing. A wide search was put on for him, but despite his large size and strange appearance, he was able to slip the net. A team of g-men finally caught up to him in Oxford, England, where he had attempted to slip onto the faculty of that prestigious University. He was only thwarted by a lack of credible references; apparently he so impressed the regent who interviewed him that he was very nearly hired. When the g-men went to arrest him, however, he beheaded three of them with a broadsword from a display of armor in one of the hallways, and was last seen fleeing the scene of that crime with the weapon in hand.

Later reports of this subject confirm that he was part of a group of outcasts who formed the rogue team of terrorists OTC, and that he remains affiliated with them. There are also reports that his inside knowledge of the operations that created the singularity (the rift in the space-time continuum) has afforded this group access to the rift; that they now know at least how to reopen it, and that they may be working on a way to control where and when one can arrive on the other side of the rift. They may even know how to return. This knowledge, if they do possess it, would make OTC the most dangerous outlaws in the world.

What happened to my school?

2008-02-14T01:11:00.000-06:00

This is what I'm talking about. And apparently she got a great reaction. San Antonio has this incredible inferiority complex, so that whenever something happens, like a hurricane, or earthquake, every time, without fail, we have to have media stories about the "San Antonio connection."

Examples are everywhere. Shannon Miller won a silver medal in gymnastics. She's from, I don't know, maybe Arizona, but not here. Still, when she won that medal, some yahoos here in San Antonio who are 2nd cousins became local celebrities (for the record, I'm related to her too...go figure). Every time there's a disaster, we have to find some tourist from San Antonio who got caught up in it. It's a big city (and I mean big...over a million people), that has the same kind of media identity as Castroville, Texas. Everything that happens in the world has to have it's San Antonio element.

Here's another example from 24 years ago that still pisses me off. In 1984, I was a freshman at Medina Valley H.S. in Castroville. We had a good football team. Actually, it was a GREAT team. After completing a 10-0 regular season, they went to the playoffs. I saw every game, because I was in the band. And in that 10-0 season, they shut out 8...eight of their opponents. They put up 40 points regularly. Playoffs? Same deal. They were ferocious on defense, methodical on offense, and spectacular on special teams. They were not only the best 3A team in the state, they could have given the 5A champs a run. They entered the state championship game 15-0, having just demolished a Columbus team that boasted several division 1A recruits (only one of our players, the kicker, went to a 1A school). They faced a Daingerfield team that had run the table the previous year (16-0) and was undefeated at the time. So the opponent was 31-0 over the previous two years. We won that game 23-16. The arrogance of our opponent was such that they never punted, then entire game. They had a banner that read "1984 champions" on their side of Baylor stadium. They thought they only had to show up, but this scrappy team of farmboys and grocery baggers handed them their heads.

And this is a long-winded story that is meant to come back to the point, so I will. This team, a cinderella story of an underdog facing an arrogant, confident (with good reason) foe, who had ruled the state for two years, knocking off said foe. For fifteen weeks, I would read the San Antonio Express-News, and there would be nothing...nothing about us. Castroville is only about 20 miles from San Antonio. But man, when they won the game....suddenly there were stories about how this team "from San Antonio" had won the championship. There was a big feature on the television. And bear with me because I'm getting to my point.

This city will do anything to pimp itself out. I love living here. We've got a lot of great things to reccomend us, and for sure, the Spurs have been great ambassadors for us. But the last thing we need to do in order to draw attention to ourselves is to invite the First Enabler to speak at a Catholic university. The last time I heard, the Catholic church opposes abortion. But here we are, and St. Mary's invited Hillary Clinton to speak here. I have, in the past, donated to the school, as an alumnus. I graduated from St. Mary's in 1993. My parents gave quite a bit of money to them as well, in the form of my tuition (I really don't know if my dad donated to them, but I bet he did, considering he was class of 1964). Things have certainly changed for the school in the intervening years. Now they have a much larger enrollment, a great new student center, a new gym (the house Buddy Meyer built, they should call it, since it was his NAIA national championship in 1988 that truly built that baskeball program), and they host the biggest event of San Antonio's Fiesta, the Oyster Bake.

But never, in all my days, would I have expected this. Shame on St. Mary's.

Ever have this happen to you?

2008-01-26T12:20:00.000-06:00

Now I'm a batchelor, so I admit that sometimes my home can lack in the cleanliness department....lol.

So anyway, the other day I did a thorough clean up and pick up around the place. Everything was put in its proper place, trash taken out, old things I don't need anymore thrown away, clothes washed, the whole nine yards. Even vaccuumed and swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom and entry. The place was spotless.

Then I went to go out to my mom's house. Ok, everything's in order, got everything I need for a trip out of town. Keys, check. Wallet, check. Boots, check. Pocketknife (you'd be surprised how much I need that on the farm), check. Cell phone, check. Cell phone holster, what? WTF did I do with that? Hellifino! I look everywhere. Nowhere can it be found. Ok...I'll just put the cell in my pocket. Next item...clipon sunglasses....WTF? Where are THEY? None of the normal places, I assure you. Now I'm tearing apart my newly-cleaned apartment looking for these things. Well, I've got a backup pair of sunglasses, but they're not as cool as my new ones, and the new ones are rimless, which means they look better on my glasses. Long story short, here are two things that I use every day that just up and vanished for no good reason whatsoever.

And you know when this happens (once happened with a watch) that you'll spend 3 weeks looking for this item before you say, "screw it," and buy a replacement. And the next day you find it and you're like...."now how could I have missed THAT?"

It gets so when I lose something, I just accept that it's lost and don't even replace it, unless it's something I really need. Of course I never lose anything big, just something that is really tedious and makes my life hell (ever try driving home heading east at 7am without sunglasses?). I've never lost, say, a guitar. But I've lost TV remotes, watches, headphones, even my main glasses. I had to go to work without my wallet a couple years ago. And the annoying thing about this is I don't even drink, so I have no excuse. When I had a roomie, he suggested I use post-it notes to remember stuff like not leaving my keys in the door when I come home. I haven't really done that in a while. But I've always been kind of absent minded, so I started setting rules for myself.

So one of these rules is that when I come home, I place my wallet, keys, work keys, watch, sunglasses, cell phone, all that crap I set on the piano. Right where I enter and leave. And do you know how many times I get set to leave for work and I find one or maybe NONE of these items on the piano? All the time, I tell you.

There are gremlins living in my apartment who are taking my stuff. I'm thinking about buying a BB gun and sitting up one night to catch them doing it. The little bastards.

And this leads me to another one: when I wake up with a headache, and I know I spent $7 on a huge bottle of Tylenol, and put it in the cabinet above my sink, why, when I go to retrieve it, is it missing? How can I lose 500 tablets of Tylenol? Am I retarded? No. I am decidedly not. I admit I'm absent minded, but when I buy a bottle of Tylenol, and the only thing I've ever done with it beside bring it home is to put it in that cabinet, the logical extension is that it'll be there when I go for it.

Perhaps I live on the edge of a dimensional vortex that sucks my stuff up on a regular basis. I mean, I've also lost the Iron Cross that my brother brought back from Germany, and a much-loved St. Mary's U. ballcap I had. Things just disappear.

Bottom line: If you are looking for someone to look after your stuff, don't ask me. That much is sure.

Weird.

And now for some politics

2008-01-21T11:55:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I talked politics on this blog, and since this is an election year, it's probably as good a time as any to get my blasts in before it's all over and all the yahoos have dropped out who are never going to win. And it's been rather interesting already, with Hillary and Obama slugging it out deathmatch-style over whose identity politics is more appealing, and who is more eager to kill...err..abort babies. And kind of interesting on the Republican side as well, what with Huckabee blaming Fred Thompson for his South Carolina loss to McCain, and McCain doing his best to distance himself from the amnesty thing, and Romney just sitting there, looking good, despite all the anti-Mormon bigots blaming him for Mountain Meadows (reminds me of the movie Starship Troopers where a group of "Mormon Extremists"(as defined by the fascist government) settled in Bug Territory and paid an awful price for it).

So I'm going to list the candidates I can think of, off the top of my head, and what I think about them, and let the chips fall where they may. Feel free to comment. If you are a Ronulan, be forwarned: this ain't going to be pretty. Your comments will be deleted. I welcome open debate but I don't debate insane people. Boy this is going to be fun.

First, the Democrats:

Hillary Clinton. Uncle Jimbo of Blackfive put it best when he argued that if Hillary Clinton is qualified to be President, then Brett Favre's wife is qualified to strap on the pads and go four quarters against the beasts of the NFL. What exactly has she done? She's the antithesis of a feminist: a woman who got where she is by marrying a successful man. She's a lawyer. Ewww. I can't think of a single piece of significant legislation with her name on it, despite spending time in the Senate. Frankly, all I can think of when I see her is a harpy intent on taking my money and giving it to someone less deserving. And before I'm accused of sexism, I will note that I supported Elizabeth Dole's ill-fated run in 2004, and I'd just love to see Condi Rice run. Not gonna happen...the press just hates her too much. How bout this: Kay Bailey Hutchison...that'd be a Thatcheresque presidency right there.

Barack Obama. Dude seems cool. Apparently he's clean from an ethical standpoint, something his opponents in the primaries really can't say. He projects the right image, and I was pretty up on him until last week, when he said that the Jena Six got worse treatment than Scooter Libby. Let's see....someone goes up the creek for lying about a crime that did not happen, vs. six kids who beat the living crap out of a classmate getting off scot-free. Yeah. There's justice.

John Edwards. Fading fast. Stick a fork in him. Yesterday's news. Look, he's crying! Someone give him a tissue.

Ok...now for the part I like...the Republicans.

Mike Huckabee. Foreign policy experience: none. Success running a state: Arkansas, a complete failure (though it could be said that he didn't have much to work with). My problem is with the fanatical christian nature of his campaign. Now mind you, I pray every day, and I'm a confirmed Catholic, and all. I've accepted Christ and that's all cool. But Huckabee is the kind of charismatic christian that as a Catholic, I really can't get into. You know those churches set up in pre-fabbed metal buildings that rely on the charisma of the preacher to get people in? Wait...all you have to do is accept Jesus and your sins are forgiven? Well...doesn't that mean that you can do anything you want? For the record, I believe Jesus died on the cross for our sins. But you don't get to heaven through that belief, or through the cross, even. You get to heaven through the actions behind that belief. Huckabee may have the evangelical vote, but I bet he's going to lose the Catholics to the next guy on my list.

Mitt Romney. Here's the guy I wasn't looking at early on, but now, I'm thinking is the viable one in the Republican race. Sure, he's a Mormon, and their beliefs are a bit weird. I can't really buy into the idea of Joseph Smith digging up some sacred plates in his own back yard and meeting God or whatever it is that they believe. But they do believe in a certain set of morals that closely match mine. And Romney has never let his faith get in the way of his governance, something that I think Huckabee would do. Strong on the War on Terror, check. Not sure about the borders, that really bothers me. Ex-businessman, so should be a good fiscal conservative. Pretty much, Bush, without the caving in to the "spirit of bipartisanship" thing. George....THEY HATE YOU no matter what you do. Why not just give them a real reason? Geez. Suck it up.

Rudy Giuliani. I love Rudy. If he was mayor or even governor for me, I'd find him swell. But he turns a blind eye to killing...er...aborting babies, not to mention the whole gun thing. Really. One of the greatest oddities of our current state of affairs is the absolute confusion people have over the Second Amendment. Look...it's pretty clear. It's one sentence. It's spelled out pretty cleanly. I can't really fault the Framers, but if I'd written it, the first clause would have been omitted so that it would read, "... the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." Anyway, it is true, that he took over a city with a buttload of crime and cut it drastically. He took the right measures in the wake of 9/11, but frankly, his invoking of that day has come to have the same hollow ring as John Kerry's invoking of his service in Vietnam. It's cool, but it's not everything. I can play the solo for "Stairway To Heaven" note-for-note, but I'm not Jimmy Page, you know? One time I played a benefit concert in front of a thousand people, but it doesn't mean I'm ready for Wembley Stadium. I think you get my drift.

Duncan Hunter. Gone too soon..

Ron Paul. Bat-shit crazy.

Fred Thompson. Yes. This is what I am talking about. Disagree with him? Tough. That's the way it is. I point you to this video from FrankJ of IMAO. It is what the dude is about.

Kill the Terrorists. Secure the Borders. Punch the Hippies. I have spent hours reading the congressional record and I can't find a single thing he's voted for that I wouldn't vote for. I can't find a single thing he's voted against that I like. His wife is hot (always a plus). He won't raise his hand to acknowlege man-made global warming. In fact, I doubt he'd raise his hand at all, unless it was to bitch-slap the person who just claimed it was happening. Fred doesn't stand a chance in hell of getting nominated, yet I plan to vote for him in the primary. I have his sticker on my car. He's the bomb. And trust me folks, like Reagan did in 1976, he is laying the groundwork for the future. Few people know that Reagan's rise really began at that '76 convention, partly because Ford got beat so badly. But Fred has followed the Reagan model in his votes, in his stance on the issues, so why should it surprise us if he is laying seeds the way Reagan did? Trust me here, when I say: This is NOT the last you will hear of Fred Thompson. Especially if a Democrat wins this year.

Now, all that said, how is it all going to shake out?

At this point, my crystal ball says that it's going to be Romney vs. Obama. In that circumstance, I like the Republicans' chances, because Romney fits the conservative mold enough for them to come out and vote. McCain v. Obama would be closer, and we might win a squeaker. Huckabee v. Obama is asking for a disaster. And I say this because I know that personally, I'd vote for Obama in that circumstance. Either one would be a disaster for the United States, and I'd rather that blame fall on a Democrat. Dream scenario is Fred v. Obama, and of course that would be awesome. Fred would eat his soul.

Ok...the Hillary scenario is even scarier, but actually, better in the long run for the Republicans. Hillary has too many negatives. Romney v. Hillary would be an absolute slaughter. I'd love to see the posts on the Daily Kos after that massacre. Huckabee v. Hillary, again, another disaster. Actually, the worst possible scenario because millions of Republicans would have nobody to vote for. Really...vote for the next coming of Jimmy Carter, or Hillary Clinton? Nope, I'll just stay home and drink hot chocolate. McCain v. Hillary, would be a squeaker for Johnny Mac. Fred v. Hillary might be interesting. She might start crying and steal some votes that way. Fred isn't going to hold back. He already has a hot wife, so what's the point in making an old harridan comfortable?

And Giuliani, should he get the nod? He'll destroy either one of them. But it's looking less and less likely.

I won't even bother with Edwards pairings because he's toast.

So, in closing:

I'd rather have Obama as my president than Hillary. If he happened to beat whoever is the Republican, I could live with that. We survived Carter, and he'd be another Carter. Sure, things will be tough, but we'll survive. But I don't think we can survive another Clinton. There's a huge difference between screwing things up because you don't know what you're doing, and screwing things up, because you think you KNOW what you're doing.

I don't think Fred can take it, but I'm sticking with him 'till the end. After Fred, my next hope is Rudy, because he can beat either of the Democrats likely to make it. But I'm confident with Romney, as well. I'd rather have Romney, because he has no designs on my guns. But the number one issue for me is the war on Islamic Fascism, and in that case, only a Republican is going to stand tall.

And Ron Paul is still insane.

Dogs of War

2007-12-19T13:28:00.002-06:00

What a Sh**storm over (basically) nothing

2007-12-19T00:15:00.000-06:00

I normally don't really link to mainstream blogs, mainly because, being cheap and lazy, I use Blogger, and don't really have a good, reliable backtrack feature, and I understand not backtracking is rude behavior and all.

But this I find hugely entertaining. Not funny, mind you, because I think Patterico is one of the best legal minds in the blogosphere, and because I really find it unfortunate he ended up being dragged into a huge flamewar. One which I added a little comedic error to near the end via a huge misunderstanding with a liberal commenter on his site. I leave it to you to read it all and decide how stupid I behaved. I think it was massively stupid, myself.

Anyway, the hilarious thing about all of this is it evolved from something enormously horrible that Chuck Adkins posted on his blog. Chuck is someone who I've had some, shall we say, discourse with, thanks to his rantings being posted at Protein Wisdom (the post I link to happens to contain my account of his deletions of my comments at his blog). I've also seen him posting in other blogs I frequent, though I tend to just avoid commenting on his statements, because I find him vile and repulsive.

Anyway. The point is, Chuck said some really nasty things about Mike Hendrix' recently deceased wife, as you can see from the link I posted above. And his non-apology-apology was pretty lame as well. And the very level-headed (though liberal) SEK posted quite the scathing tirade about it.

Patterico, being of good faith, understanding from his readings of Scott's postings (which I like as well), that Scott was the kind of liberal who is willing to debate in good faith and all, went there and made a few posts on the matter, which is understandable, because he was one of the first to notice Chuck's insanity.

Well, this all plays out like a high school melodrama when you read it like this. But anyway, the discussion on Scott's blog devolved into a series of Scott's commentators straw-manning Pat in the gonads.

It's really entertaining in the "I watch NASCAR for the wrecks" sense. I put in one of the last posts before the thread was closed. Thank you, Scott, for that. But it did not end there, because Pat was incensed (rightfully) that his profession had been called into question, and posted the thread I left you at the beginning of this one. And his tormenters followed him to his own blog, where he was merciful enough to let them hang themselves with the rope they provided. It is quite entertaining. Aside from the fact that, of course, I turned a menial misunderstanding by one of the other commenters of my own post into a self-defense against an accusation of homosexuality that didn't exist. And now that I read it....if it wasn't me, it'd be funny as hell.

Anyway, to David Ehrenstein, I offer my sincere apologies...for flying off the handle at an accusation that really, wasn't one.

I'm straight, by the way.

Open Letter To Game Develepors

2007-12-04T12:25:00.001-06:00

MORONS.

I was installing "Rome: Total War" and this thought occurred to me.

A game comes on 3 disks (or 4 or whatever).

Why do they make Disc 1 the play disk? When you've finished installing, you have the last disk in your machine. Now they make you take it out AND INSERT THE FIRST DISK AGAIN. Stupid! I was installing Quake 3 and this happened as well. Why don't you just make the last disk the play disk so you can start playing immediately? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Book Review: Soon I Will Be Invincible.

2007-10-19T10:41:00.000-05:00

Well, as an avid player of City of Heroes, big fan of Batman, and off-and-on reader of comic books, the whole idea of superheroes is more than a passing fancy to me.

This book, by first time author Austin Grossman, is pretty off the charts...revolutionary in a sense. It's a superhero book that is not a comic, and what's more, it does not even have its roots in comics, other than the archetypes that inhabit the book.

It's a novel, with not a picture inside. Only the cover gives you a hint as to what the helmet of the villain, Dr. Impossible, looks like.

I really don't wish to post any spoilers, and for that reason, I'll just go into some of the broader particulars.

First off, everything you assume about superheroes, based on the comic books...is faithfully recreated. Grossman did not set out to create some new type of superhero or villain. Instead, he treats you to the classic types of the genre. This is iconic superhero stuff. Stuff you'd expect to see in a game like "Freedom Force" or "City of Heroes." And while he didn't work on either of those games, it is interesting to note that before becoming a writer, Grossman was a game developer, working on titles like "Deus Ex" and "System Shock."

It was interesting, however that there was a supergroup called "Freedom Force" in the book. But I digress.

To give you a brief overview:

The most intelligent man on earth, Dr. Impossible, languishes in prison, having been captured by The Champions. It is his tenth capture, after ten attempts to conquer the world. Undeterred by failure, but rather spurred on by hatred, pure evil, and a sense of vengeance against his tormentors, he vows to escape again and conquer the world.

Two novice superheroes are sent to interrogate him in the disappearance of CoreFire (the closest thing the book has to Superman), and it affords him the opportunity to escape, setting in motion his diabolical plan to conquer the world by forcing all to submit before his weather machine.

The Champions supergroup has long since disbanded, and now re-forms with two new members, Lily (a near-invisible glass woman) and Fatale (a cybernetic half-woman, half-robot). Half the book is told from the viewpoint of Dr. Impossible; the other half is told from the viewpoint of Fatale. Thus they are the two pivotal characters, and are inextricably linked, in ways that are only revealed near the end.

There are other characters, like Blackwolf, the "Batman" analogue, and Damsel, who could be loosely described as Wonder Woman. To add drama, they are a divorced couple.

Lots of peripheral characters, a secret island fortress that made me think of The Incredibles, and a Fairy Warrior named Elphin round out the cast. At the center of the whole thing, quite surprisingly, is a very Narnian twist that anyone familiar with the books would recognize. There were also Terabithian features to that twist as well.

Also, if you have seen the movie, "My Super Ex-Girlfriend," you'll spot the love triangle right away.

The book is written well, but I have to be honest that there were exactly three sentences in there that just seemed to come out of nowhere and seemed to have no relation to what was going on, or just plain confused the hell out of me. I'm not Dr. Impossible-smart, but I'm not an idiot either, and it just seemed like Grossman's syntax was a little messed up on those three occasions. But for a book this size, it really isn't a major quibble. Still, it caused a break in the illusion for a few minutes as I re-read and re-read the passages again. I won't blame the author, but rather the editor...a good editor would have picked this up. It's really a minor quibble, but it just seems that in those three instances, I couldn't decipher just what the hell he was trying to say. It's as if Yoda walked up to you and tried to explain partical physics. I'd have a hard time diagramming those sentences.

But, thankfully, those appear about midway through the book, and don't really distract from the climax, which ends true to form. And that's the biggest spoiler I'll give.

How to write a System of a Down song

2007-10-15T12:00:00.001-05:00

[off-kilter, odd meter heavy metal riff]
"Bush is Hitler and the Government is Evil"
[another riff, then stop, to prove we're good musicians and can stop together]
"Armenian Genocide"
[another stop, to break the monotony]
"And we're no better cause we bomb brown people"
[pathetically bad guitar solo followed by another odd meter riff, performed in drop D tuning so you only have to use one finger to play a power chord]
"So George Bush is Hitler"
[now let the totally vocally-challenged guitarist sing]
"And Armenians died"
[followed by the directionless riff once again and another stop. The end]

Sputnik!

2007-10-04T07:44:00.000-05:00

Today, October 4, 2007 marks the 50th anniversary of the launching of Sputnik. If you drink, get yourself some Vodka to celebrate. Then consider this:

We are now 50 years into the exploration of space. That's just cool.

Obligatory Halo 3 Post

2007-09-27T00:23:00.000-05:00

I guess I kind of feel obligated, as a hard-core gamer, to post some nonsense about how great this game is and how great it is that this game has made $175 million in its first day.

But there are a few points that I'd like to make. Before I start, however, I have to categorically state that I've never played the game, so my opinion is quite subjective, unreasoned, and unalterably right on this game.

I am 37, so I came of high school age in the first generation of video games. We had an Atari 2600, an Atari 800, and most of the games for them. At the arcade, I was the God of Tempest, still to this day, my favorite arcade game. At some point, around the same time Nintendo and Coleco ran Atari out of business, I got more interested in computer, as opposed to video games. I played lots of games, but they were more likely to be text-based adventure games.

1993 revolutionized gaming for me. My buddy had two IBM clones in his house, and he had just bought Doom. We would spend hours on hours playing this game, the first really commercially successful FPS (first person shooter). We liked to play with the monsters on, because the dirtiest way to play, and of course, as a result, the most fun, was to get someone while they were fighting monsters. Or open a room up, piss off the monsters, then close the door and leave it for your opponent.

Same friend got a job at a networking company the next year. Thus, we progressed to LAN tournaments of Doom II. Same format, only this time instead of one opponent, you'd have 3. Good times.

The next year, Quake came out, and this guy now had his own networking company, where we could play 8-way LAN Quake slugfests for hours at a time, sometimes on his company time.

So all this builds up to the fact that I learned to play FPS games with a keyboard, and later, a keyboard and mouse. Too cheap to buy my own computer, I still wanted to be able to play Doom, so I bought, around 1996 or 1997, a Nintendo 64, and Doom 64. And it took me a long time to master playing that FPS game with a controller. I never really did master it, although I beat the game using it.

Some time in 1999, I finally bought a decent computer, but, knowing that games progress very quickly, I decided to ask around to find out what the hottest FPS was. Turns out everyone was raving about Half-Life. I bought it, was hooked, and still play it to this day. Admittedly, I never beat the game, because within an hour or so, I got tired, and logged onto my new internet connection and sought out an online game via WON, the World Opponent Network.

This was totally new, because previously, I'd always played against people I knew...but now you could jump into a server and play total strangers. Remember, this was in 1999, 8 years ago. Anyway, there was one server, where a few of us became sorta regular, and finally, we formed a clan, a group of like minded gamers, and since then, we've stayed together.

Now, since HL, there have been some really good FPS games. Unreal Tournament offered you some really cool new gameplay types. UT2005 gave us vehicles. Day of Defeat brought true squadplay.

So what I'm coming to is this. The hype around Halo and its sequels bores and even annoys the crap out of me. Why? Because these Halo fanboys think they invented the deathmatch. They think they invented all these modes of play, and what's more, they think it's the greatest game ever. Well, sorry. Half-Life 2 has better physics. Doom 3 had better graphics. The original Half-Life had a better story. Battlefield had better vehicles. In fact, it's quite obvious that every "revolutionary" aspect of Halo's gameplay has been lifted right out of a much better computer game. Not to mention this: there is no gamepad that can come close, ever, to the kind of pure control available from the mouse/keyboard combination.

I mean, it's not possible, so far as I know, to play online games between people on consoles and computers, but I guarantee you that if Halo 3 had that capability, the best players would ALL be on PC's. Not only are the controls better, but you have to consider the higher processor speed of the high-end gaming systems.

No, the only thing that makes Halo 3 intriguing is the fact that every system is identical, and every one hooks up to the same server. So you see it now? Can you dig what I'm saying? Halo 3 is Socialist! It's socialist gaming. Everyone has the same system, pays the same fees, plays the same game.

Compare this to PC gaming...ultimate freedom! You get to build your own system. Within your means, you can have the ultimate hotrod, or a stripped down primer-grey Duster. But you can still get a damn good system on the cheap. You pay for your internet connection, but you get to choose how fast it is. PC gaming is capitalism. Oh, and you get to choose your game, and instead of there being only one game on the system worth playing (Halo 3), you have tons of choices. Doom 3? HL-2? Older games for the old farts like me? Battlefield? Far more possibilities.

Still, I guess it's sour grapes to begrudge the Halo folks their fun. I mean, I'm sure that it's a great game and all. But it just irks me that the pioneers of online gaming, people like me, will eventually be forgotten. The pioneers of this kind of game, like Half-Life, Doom, Quake, will be forgotten. And that's kind of sad.

Really, it's as if people totally forgot about Paul Brown's contributions to offensive football, and just talked about how one of his students, Bill Walsh, was some sort of visionary.

...oh wait...

P.S. It should be pointed out that of all the Super Bowl-winning coaches ever, 2/3 of them learned their trade under Paul Brown. He invented football as we know it. Poor John Carmack and John Romero (Doom and Quake) and Gabe Newell (Half-Life) are going to be forgotten just the same, and it sucks ass.

Uber cool

2007-09-21T10:33:00.000-05:00

Just rented Pathfinder today, solely on the basis of one name on the bill....Karl Urban.

This dude was in Lord of the Rings, where he kicked ass. Then he was in the Bourne Supremacy, where despite being the bad guy, he kicked ass. Then he was in Doom, where he kicked the Rock's ass. And he was in Chronicles of Riddick, where he was the only person I even cared to watch.

Let's just say it. Karl Urban kicks ass. Dude is a throwback to the '60's and '70's dudes I worshiped on late night TV. He's Clint Eastwood's cool with Charles Bronson's slow burn and he's even got some of Steve McQueen's bravura to go with it. To finally see him in a star vehicle where he is the ultimate bad-ass (read: Viking kid raised by Indians who kills tons of Vikings who come to kill Indians 15 year later)? Uber cool.

I guess some will say that I've got a gay crush on Karl. Heaven's no...Moon Bloodgood did a good number on me as well. Good movie. Just don't go looking for historical accuracies...it's more of a "what if" movie than anything.

Oh yeah, and if you look beyond the makeup...the main bad guy in this movie is Clancy Brown. The same bad-ass who was the drill sergeant in Starship Troopers. Oh yeah.

Good movie. Popcorn fare. Pop would say it's the kind of movie you watch when you want your mind to turn into "Green Jello." A Green Jello movie. The best kind.

What's going on

2007-09-21T10:15:00.000-05:00

I've been reticent about revealing my real name on blogs, just because I like to keep my identity as private as possible.

Last Tuesday, September 11, I finally faced a reality that forced me to change that policy. My father died. I can do no better than my brother James at expressing both the joy of a life well lived as well as the sorrow at a life that has ended. Dad, I love you.

I wear this internet persona, almost like a character sometimes, but there are times when that fourth wall, as you will, must be broken. This is one of them. I could go into details about Dad's passing, but the truth is it was an excruciatingly painful emotional event, one I have never had to deal with in my life. And yet, somehow, there was some relief knowing that he did not suffer or have to linger on. Above all, the man prized his independence above all. Had he merely been incapacitated, he would have been miserable.

Most of what I wish to express is in the link above, Jim's excellent eulogy, which he delivered at the rosary, which was gorgeous both in the number of friends and family who showed up, as well as the pure beauty of witnessing the Catholic way of seeing someone off to God, which, honestly, is one of the most heartwarming and heartrending things on earth.

There is a heaven. Of this I am sure. There is no other place that a soul like my Dad's could reside. I loved that man. He made me what I am. He was the greatest Dad a son could have, and the greatest man I have ever known. Surely some of you are thinking that your dad was greater, but in my humble opinion, you're wrong.

Dad was a man of the country, he grew up on the farm, and as quickly as he could afford it, he bought one of his own. He was buried in the country, in a small patch of ground in Loire, TX, where prickly pears grow just outside the fence of the cemetary. Yeah, when the grass grows over him, there will be grassburrs and Johnson grass, and maybe even some fire ants will make a nest near him. But Dad was South Texas, and he'd like that.

Farewell, Pop. I'll miss you. But when I start to forget, a short look in the mirror at my hairline, and a little bit of Paul Simon in the stereo, will be all I need to refresh myself.

Postcard from Kuwait

2007-09-10T12:47:00.000-05:00

New blog post from James Bernsen in Kuwait. Good to hear he's doing well. Tomorrow he's shipping out yet again:

It was an exhausting two days in the desert, despite the fairly mild temperature – 105 degrees. Returing back to Camp Virginia, I was hoping for some down time to relax, but it was not to be. As it turns out, I would get only a day, for today, I leave for Baghdad.

Ouch.

2007-08-21T13:15:00.001-05:00

Ever have one of those optical illusions, where you totally misjudge something, much to your embarrasment (and pain)? I get this all the time. Seems like at night, my 3D vision isn't so good.

My day job, when I'm not impersonating a raving lunatic guitar slinging muppet, is at a grocery store. There is a dock outside, where trailers are parked. I'm new to this particular store. I have to go outside and turn a refrigerated trailer on. I go outside, I see what I've drawn crudely here. The triangle represents a wall. The rectangle represents the rail along it, which adds about 3 1/2 feet to said wall. The dock is cut out of the side of this thing, and it's bottom is flush with the bottom of the wall.

Ok, but if you're new to the store, and it's 3 A.M., and you're outside there where it's really dark, and your 3D vision isn't so good, what do you think? Well, I thought: it's a ramp. And what better way to get there faster than to hop over the wall and run down the ramp?

Only, when you're expecting to hop down 3 1/2 feet, and instead jump down about 8 feet (roughly represented by the dotted line), that can be a real problem. Especially when the bottom is solid concrete.

I remember Michael Biehne saying on the Terminator documentary that to film his entrance through the time portal, they had two ladders with a board between them, and the stunt guy just rolled off the board about 5 feet up and landed on the concrete. Granted, I wasn't naked like him, but still, 8 feet to land on concrete is pretty hard. Good thing I don't weigh much. Nothing was broken. My pride was very hurt, but luckily no one saw it happen, so I was able to lie there for about 30 seconds and determine whether or not I really hurt myself. Answer: yes. I do not recommend doing this, and I know I'll never do it again. Look before you leap, they say. Well, I made that mistake once and never again.

Bruised, swollen wrist, twisted ankle, pulled triceps, and a bruised left buttock. That's pretty much the list of injuries. I feel like I just got out of a cage match with the Rock.

300

2007-07-12T14:50:00.000-05:00

Well, I took a year to see this.

Words fail me.

Forgive my language.

It is the greatest fucking movie I have ever seen.

Hair is over-rated

2007-07-11T09:25:00.000-05:00

As you can see from my photo, I have blonde hair. For years I have worn it fairly short, with a little bit of clipper cut on the back and sides and blended into the the top, which is scissor-cut. Fairly standard part-on-the-left hair. In high school I wore it pretty long and parted down the middle and feathered (you know what I mean if you grew up in the '80's).

A couple times in the '90's I deviated from my part on the left thing and shaved my head. Once just a half inch all around, another time completely bald like a cue ball. From this I learned that I have a CREST on the top of my head, like a chicken or something, not very pronounced, but visible. Alarming. Also completely shaved makes my head look round, like a cue ball.

So sometime last year, maybe in January '06, I sought some sort of happy medium because I really like not having hair. You never have to spend a lot on haircuts, and in addition, it's virtually maintenance-free. I began thinking about it and decided I would wear my hair "high and tight." Sort of like the Marines (although, not being a Marine, and respecting them highly, I'd rather not say it's exactly like theirs). I went to Fantastic Sam's and I had them clipper cut the back and sides with the 1 guard and clipper cut the top with the 7. This was good. It left me SOME hair on the top and made my head look somewhat more square and not round like Charlie Brown.

Well, this has worked out really well, so much so that I can go 3 months or more without a clip. Once I had a zero guard and a 6 on top, and I really liked it, so yesterday I did that again.

Only I went to Rios instead of Fantastic Sams (I saved 2 bucks this way). The thing is, I guess you got to tell them how high you want them to go. They went a LOT higher in the back than I'm used to. But in retrospect, it's better. It eliminates the cowlick I have on the back of my head.

But I look more like a Jarhead than ever.

As you might suspect, wearing a crew cut and playing in metal bands is quite incongruous. Most of the time, people who have just met me will assume me to be a country music fan, and they're kind of shocked when they find out I'm into metal and have a metal band of my own.

Not that I hate country, I just despise the crap that gets passed off as country nowadays. I can stomach George Strait, but the rest of the guys inspired by him make me want to vomit (especially Garth Brooks). If I'm going to listen to country, I want to listen to REAL country. George Jones country. Merle Haggard. Ernest Tubb. Don Walser. Johnny Bush. Willie Nelson. THAT is country. If your band does not have a steel guitar...you're not country.

Anyway, I digress. But the point is...short hair is good. The less the better.

Our way, their way, pt 2.

2007-04-23T02:29:00.000-05:00

Ran across a lot of people in the past who said George Micheal should have stepped in for Fred....

Here's the compelling argument:

Not bad, eh?

Now compare to the original article:

Sorry, nobody can replace the real thing. Freddie had the pipes that only others can dream about.

Our way, their way

2007-04-23T02:17:00.000-05:00

Their way:

Here's "our way."

I like "our way," obviously.

The Chocolate Jesus

2007-03-30T14:39:00.000-05:00

http://hotair.com/archives/2007/03/30/heart-ache-life-sized-anatomically-correct-milk-chocolate-jesus-cancelled/

Obvious hat tip: Hot Air.

Ok, these guys are off on this "millions of Catholics eat the host every Sunday which is supposed to be Jesus, so what's the big deal?"

I heard this on the radio. First off:

A chocolate Jesus is not the manifestation of the the reborn Christ anymore than eating a chocolate Bunny is eating the Easter Bunny.

It is through the Eucharist, the ceremony, that the consecrated hosts become the embodiment of the body of Christ. This is what is known as "faith," something Liberals apparently know nothing about unless you're talking about Global Warming. At the point at which the host is blessed, during the Eucharist, it does not "symbolize" the body of Christ. It is the body of Christ. Those with only a cursory knowledge of the Catholic faith cannot fully comprehend how offensive such a thing as this "Chocolate Jesus" is to us. You're basically saying that all our faith means nothing at all. It is offensive. Moreover, a chocolate Mohammed would get your head cut off. But that'd certainly be better for these "artists" than the fate that awaits them when they are judged.

Drumming!

2007-03-28T14:35:00.000-05:00

Oh, My God. I've seen this before, but I must share for those who've never seen it. Even if you don't like metal, you have to admit that this guy can hit the skins.

Stupidity

2007-01-16T11:50:00.000-06:00

Ok. First of all, I think this kid is a douchebag. He probably spends hours of his life in World of Warcraft, and while I"m a gamer, it's mostly first person shooters that I can jump into and out of for about an hour at a time. I'd never do something like this:

But....

I support him, if only so that ROTC kids, future heroes in the WOT, can pose in their yearbooks brandishing M4 Carbines.

Arrrgh!

2007-01-09T16:07:00.001-06:00

You know, I'm usually one to forgive sports broadcasters for their terrible butchery of the English language. But there is, and will always be one pet peeve that I can and will not ever forgive or allow:

From Reuters:

The Buckeyes showed some resiliency in the second quarter when Antonio Pittman
raced over from 18 yards to trim the deficit to 21-14.

Obviously, this got past the Reuters editors. Resilience. It is a word. "Resiliency" is something that Al Michaels or someone of his ilk invented. It annoys me when someone adds an extra syllable just so they can sound more intelligent when the concise word would suffice.

Typing both words in Google provides interesting results. "Resiliency" gives links to all kinds of centers for strategic studies but no Merriam-Webster Online entry. "Resilience," on the other hand, provides the M-W entry within the first 3 results. You decide.

By the way, searching for "resiliency" on M-W redirects you to "resilience." I rest my case.

2006-12-20T06:46:00.000-06:00

Normally, I'm not a fan of rap-metal, nu-metal, whatever you call it, but the sentiments here rock.

Saddam Sentenced

2006-11-05T20:17:00.000-06:00

To death. Good.

Who would have guessed Captain Picard was the judge?

Update 11/10/06: Just had to add this:

Picard: Mr. Worf, have you tied the noose?
Worf: Yes sir. Mr. Hussein will die an honorable Klingon death!
Picard: Mr. Worf, there is nothing honorable in execution!
Worf: But Captain! All death is honorable!
Picard: Rightly so, Mr. Worf. Killing Saddam is honorable.
Riker: Captain, Mr. Data reports that the rope has been attached to the lanyard, should we secure the noose around Mr. Hussein's neck?
Picard: Make it so, Number One.
....
Riker: Captain, the noose is secure and ready for deployment.
Picard: ENGAGE!

November Surprise

2006-11-03T04:17:00.000-06:00

Well, here we are, it seems that Iraq was about a year away from a nuclear device, according to the NYT. Hot Air has all the details.

Near and Far

2006-11-01T15:37:00.000-06:00

My first attempt at embedding a YouTube video. It is naturally, my favorite furry little monster.

Do what you can

2006-08-17T11:16:00.000-05:00

Read this and do your part to help these independent journalists who have had their lives ruined by Fidel and his corrupt regime.

The Day

2006-07-28T04:53:00.000-05:00

My brother Bill and I joined the Army on the same day. Providence, perhaps, but in truth, we’re twins, we turned 18 only hours apart, and it was the thing to do with a war on. I was much more afraid than Bill. All his life he’s never been afraid of anything. He lives life as if he is going to die today, he says, and so he ends up putting off dying for tomorrow. We went through our boot camp together as well, and it was just as well, because Bill’s casual attitude about everything turned the sergeant against him and deflected his attention from me. I’ve got a really bad attitude and temper, you see, and it would do no good for someone to come down on me.

Things have been really fucked up in the world ever since The Day. That’s all anyone calls it now. Most of the people I live with are remnants of our unit, combined with people we’ve picked up along the way. The Day marked us forever as outsiders in our own world. We’re the only sane people in a world that’s gone horribly mad. It wasn’t always this way.

The war was destroying this country from within. People we knew suddenly decided they hated us just because we loved our country. The state had left the Union and there was no way we were going to let them force us back into that bondage, ever again. Bill had known it was going to happen since we were 18. I honestly thought it could be averted. But it couldn’t. We just wanted to be left alone. The President did not want to leave us alone. People in their homes revolted. Our state had a high concentration of people who identified with the state first and the union second; coincidentally a high concentration of people possessing firearms, and the mix was combustible.

The Day started off all right. We took the APC into the city to see if any people needed help. The bombing, which the government said they’d never conduct against us, of course, came. And along with that came casualties. This day we found no casualties. In fact, we didn’t find anyone at all. Sergeant Thomas directed us from home to home, and each time, the result was the same. There was nobody home.

After several hours, I began to feel a little nervous, and Bill asked Sgt. Thomas if we could stop by the Mayor’s house. Surely, he felt, he would be home. Bill always had a big mouth. But Sgt. Thomas was easygoing, and this was the Texas Army, which though tough was pretty informal, and he agreed. There was nobody at the Mayor’s house.

The whole city was deserted, it seemed, and we spent all day going from house to house, as if unable to believe what we were seeing. We came to one house that had a basement, weird for this part of the country, and Bill and I searched it together. We came upon a couple young women, and put them in the APC. There was nobody else there.

Their story was unbelievable and in my opinion, they were crazy. They rambled on like lunatics about zombies and people eating each other. People eating until there was nothing left to eat, bones and all. Yet never satisfied. How the two women escaped either becoming zombies or being eaten, they wouldn’t or couldn’t say.

They did say these were not movie zombies. They were human beings with an insatiable urge to consume everything they could. But they still retained some humanity despite that and could pose as perfectly normal people. Our squad listened to this with disbelief and a couple openly scoffed at the idea. Sgt. Thomas took them seriously. He said he could never have imagined a world where Texas had seceded from the Union and he could have never have imagined waging war against his father, but here he was, and so that was it. The women were to be believed. We didn’t question him further. I suspect that Sgt. Thomas knew something we didn’t know.

As we started to pull out, we noticed more people coming out of their houses, claiming the same story. Some of them were covered in blood. One of the women, Cindy, the blonde, looked at us and shook her head. Sgt. Thomas took that to mean they were zombies and we dispatched them in short order. Suddenly, the whole city seemed to be teeming with people. And they were coming towards us, some carrying rifles, homemade spears, shotguns, and obviously evil in their intent. Pvt. Torres put the APC in gear and we drove right through them and directed by Sgt. Thomas we headed for the airport.

On the way, we came up on an SUV parked on the side of the road. I don’t know why, but something in my mind told me to stop. I yelled out to Sgt. Thomas and he gave the order to stop. Then he directed me to check it out, since it was my stupid idea. There were four people sleeping in the back, two men, two women. They claimed to know nothing about zombies, that they’d stopped there for the night cause they ran out of gas. They’d been drunk. One was a doctor, one a pilot, and the two women were their wives. Sgt. Thomas directed them to get in the APC. Again, I thought it strange he’d do that.

It was 7 in the evening when we pulled up to the airport and stopped. The fence could easily be run over, but there were people all over the place. Sgt. Thomas spoke to us.

“Ok, men, this is the problem. At 5am this morning, the city was hit with a weapon that we cannot explain. Our unit was the only one that survived. The rest of the units in the city became zombies. That’s the only thing you call these people. They are not human. They look human, they act human, but they want to kill you and eat you. And they don’t act like the zombies you see in the movies. They act rational. The only way to tell them is that their hands are decaying and shaking. That’s the ONLY way to tell.”

Pvt. Jones, from the rear of the APC, said, “that’s bullshit.”

Bill leaned over and cold-cocked him. “So explain to me this, Jonesy…why the fuck did all those people who attacked us back there have gloves on? Huh? Didn’t you notice that fact?” Ever the smart-ass, I pointed out that some of them were wearing socks on their hands. Bill laughed and said, “ahh, yes.”

The four women, plus two civilian men, and us, added up to 14, way too big for a light plane. According to Sgt. Thomas, the only way to be safe was to head for the hills where a group of militia had established a safe house. The gas shortage made it impossible for us to drive all the way out in the APC. In other words, the only way out was by plane. A makeshift strip had been set up on a farm out there and lit by GPS beacon.

The pilot from the SUV, Mark, volunteered to fly a plane. Sgt. Thomas allowed that he could fly. Bill offered to pilot the third plane; he’d gotten his license when we were younger. We needed 3 small Cessnas and we needed to get through the zombies wandering the airport. Many of which were armed.

Torres drove the APC over the fence and moved towards the closest hangar under cover of darkness. There were no zombies there and we drove right up to it and deposited Sgt. Thomas and three of the women there. We waited until they were in the air before moving to the next plane. They made it up without incident, but the noise alerted the zombies down the strip and they were coming. We made it to the second plane and the zombies were about a football field away.

Mark, Torres, Jones, and Cindy climbed on the next plane. They cleared the approaching mob of zombies just as they reached them. The plane dipped a little, and then soared off.

The zombies were only 25 yards away by the time we got to the third plane. I told Bill to hang behind the other 5 of us because as the pilot we couldn’t lose him. There had to be 300 people coming at us and we let loose with the full arsenal of Texas freedom: A4’s, grenades, M1911’s. The zombies in front had poles from the fence, sharpened to a point. They were coming too fast. One reached me and when he jabbed the pole at me I grabbed the end, pushed, and slammed him in the face with the butt end.

I was out of ammo. The others were running low. The zombies were coming. I began jabbing at them with the pole. I don’t know how many I killed this way. Bill had emptied his 1911 and grabbed a pole as well. First one, then two of our compatriots were dragged into the crowd, screaming, ripped to pieces with kitchen utensils and assorted knives. Only myself, Bill, Cpl. Barnes, and Pvt. Lewis remained. Lewis had pulled his bayonet and was slashing madly at the zombies. They appeared to feel pain, and would roil back. “Kill em!” they said. “Eat them!”

We were backed up to the APC. Zombies were crawling inside it. One came out with a shotgun and fired it into the air. Everyone stopped. “All in good time, my fellow Zombies,” he said. And that’s how we became prisoners.

This man was not bigger than the other zombies, unless you were to weigh their brains. He was the Mayor, in fact, and appeared to be leading this thing by his charisma. We were tied up, pushed against the APC, and held at the point of our own guns, the ammo for which they’d retrieved inside.

“It would appear your friends have left you, Private…Spookiba?” He said to me. I stared back at him, with the most defiant look I could. “Are you leading this little escapade?” he asked.

“Um, well, you see, it’s like this…” I began. “We heard you zombies were tearin’ shit up, so we decided to get the fuck out of town. Since, you know…we ain’t zombies and all. We figured it’d be a good idea.”

Bill said, “Actually, the guy you want…he’s gone…went up with the first plane. So you’re shit out of luck, you know, cause they went 200 miles up into the Hill Country.”

“Ahh! Good thinking! The safe house, I assume? In the next 24 hours it will be over-run with my Zombie brothers and your friends will be turning on a spit over a fire. Human flesh tastes very good, not unlike veal. It will go well with the wines we shall pilfer from the vineyards up that way.”

Time for a new plan. It was clear that these were not, as Sgt. Thomas had been saying, movie zombies. But plans don’t always work out, and Bill and I had been improvising together since the days we were playing acoustic guitars on Dad’s porch.

It was about this time that Barnes asked if he could take a leak. “Why sure, my good man! We don’t want you to wet yourself when you die. Urine spoils the taste of the meat.”

“Well, then you’ll be disappointed to know,” said Bill, “that I’m taking a dump in my skivvies right now.”

With that, the Mayor walked closer to Bill, reached up and smashed him in the side of the head with the shotgun. Bill just looked back at him with a grin on his face. “No clever retort to that, Pvt.?”

“Actually, I’m wearing this shit-eating grin because eating my shit is about all you’re gonna get from me.” He looked the mayor in the eye.

I had managed to free my hands and draw Bill’s Beretta from the back of his belt. It was now pointed right in the Mayor’s belly.

“You’ve got a whole goddamn city here, you know the location of the safe house, and you’ve only had 18 hours by my estimation, to clean out the town. You’ve got plenty of fresh meat in this city if you’re willing to look for it. You know, self-motivation, like you say in your campaigns. Take your zombies and back off, we’ll fly out of here. If, as you say, in 24 hours the safe house will be in your possession…well, then, you’ll have us anyway.”

He turned from Bill, looked at me, and said, “Alright. I grant you passage this time. I hope your ass tastes as sweet as your tongue.”

The zombies cleared out, we climbed in the plane, and we flew out, heading west. “The beacon is nowhere near where I thought,” Bill said.

“Shit, Bill, you really did shit your pants,” said Lewis.

“I never bluff,” Bill said.

“Mind if we open the windows?”

The safe house had been built at the beginning of the Secessional War, when it wasn’t yet known how many Texans would support the cause. It was thought that true Texas patriots would need a safe place to hide from the probing eyes of those unloyal to the state. It had not been needed at the time, other than as a place to store munitions and train militia. That is what it remained for quite some time. When we arrived we found that people were already settling in. There were a few more civilians than I’d thought had survived the bombing. And it was also there, that we learned something unsettling. The Secessional War was over. It was now a Zombie War, and it was worldwide.

Reports on CNN and FOX confirmed that the Governor and the President had agreed to set aside their differences in light of a common enemy. Every major city with a population over 1 million was already in the hands of zombies. Nobody knew what had set the zombie thing in motion. Nobody seemed to really care about that. Here at the safe house, our unit was the only one that had made it out of San Antonio. There was one unit from Dallas and one from Austin. Houston was 100% controlled by zombies and nobody had gotten out.

With the Austin contingent came an old friend of ours, Kevin. He had worked for an IT firm up there and had managed (through in no small part to a large stash of weapons and a knack for building booby traps) to escape and make his way here. He was a member of the state militia, so he was already well situated and had his HAM radio set up out back. He kept going on about SETI and alien culture and claimed they had everything to do with the zombies.

“Dude, it’s not like the aliens had some ‘zombie ray’ set up on the moon and just zapped every metropolitan area on earth with it.” I exclaimed after a while.

“Actually, it very much is like that,” he said. “Radio signals confirm the source as an outpost on the moon. However,” he said, “Aliens are not the cause of this.”

Sgt. Thomas was listening thoughtfully to Kevin’s rant. I thought he’d walk out but he didn’t. I always seemed to underestimate that guy. “What you’re claiming, Kevin, is a vast conspiracy, by a large group of very influential people, to turn 90% of the world’s population into zombies?”

“Dr. Zimmer, from California Southern, has claimed repeatedly to have achieved behavioral control with what he calls ‘Z-rays,’” Kevin stated. “At first, he was trying to use them to help people lose weight, but the Z-rays also made these people ravenous. They’d eat, but they wouldn’t gain any weight. In time, the hunger pains became so great that the test subjects would begin eating their own fingers…”

“Ok, this is like some goddamn bad B-Movie,” Lewis said. “So he zaps someone with the ray, he ends up eating himself and that’s the end of it.”

“But,” Kevin continued, “Zimmer published a paper in the ‘60’s in which he claimed that population control was the key to maintaining human existence. He claimed that without any population control, eventually the world would crumble into a chaotic cannibalistic starvation economy.”

“So, where are you going with this?” I said.

“Well, fifteen years ago, Zimmer abruptly ended his experiments with Z-rays and moved to Montana, claiming to have been contacted by aliens. But what really happened nobody knows. At any rate, he ended up working with NASA on the Moon Outpost project. Why nobody wondered why a behavioral scientist suddenly switched fields to moon survey? Beyond me. But that is just what he did.”

“Ok, this is all circumstantial,” I said. “There’s no way to prove any of this.”

“Washington confirmed a strong signal from the Moon Outpost beamed at exactly 5am this morning,” Sgt. Thomas said. “The astronauts on the Outpost could not be reached. Apparently, they’d eaten the gloves off their pressure suits.” He looked at me. “Kevin is wrong only on one part of this. This was no grand conspiracy. This was one man’s lunatic experiment gone horribly crazily wrong. And now 90% of the earth’s population is zombies. And some of them have nukes.”

“Still,” Kevin said, slowly, “Sgt. Thomas, I wouldn’t trust any world leader at this point. In fact, I wouldn’t trust anyone unless I could look him squarely in the eye…and shake his hand. Zimmer was very influential in some of the wackier leftist circles. His writings have megalomania written all over them. I think the man wants to rule the world. He has a Manson complex.”

The conversation had gone from bizarre to more bizarre, to just fuckin’ weird. Now I was just tired and I wanted to sleep. I went out back to sit down and get a nod. Two militiamen were coming in from patrol. One of them was tall and thin, the other heavyset. They both carried hunting rifles.

“All I’m sayin’ Earl, is that zombies don’t think or talk or run. Them’s ain't zombies. They people that’s just sick,” said the thin one.

“Bullshit, Clem. They are cannibals. They got this crazy look on their face when they’s hungry. They’s zombies. You watch too many movies. Who says zombies have to walk slow and be dumb?”

“Plus,” I said, “I talked to the Mayor of San Antonio, and he’s a zombie. He called them his Zombie Brothers. If that’s what they want to call themselves, Clem, then that’s what I’ll call them before I send them to hell. Earl…”

“Yeah?”

“Take off your gloves before you come in, man,” I said. “Just to ease my mind.”

“Sure thing, Pvt.” He pulled off his ratty hunting gloves and his hands were clean. “Clem, tomorrow you got a physical with that new nurse that came in tonight. She’s a hot little blonde,” he said as he did so.

I followed them in. “Guys, where’s that aid station? My Sgt. brought that nurse in tonight and I want to talk to her.”

They laughed at each other and sent me down the hall. I found Cindy sitting there looking bored. “In most zombie movies,” I said, “you walk in on the nurse and she’s bandaging someone up.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen a bunch of them…how sad is that?” She said. “I was always a zombie movie fan and now I’m living one. I’m glad to see you’re all right. They said ya’ll had been captured.”

“My brother’s quick thinking saved us,” I said. “Want to go get a cup of coffee later?”

“Sure,” she said, but added, “but I hope you know this doesn’t mean we’re going to be sleeping together.”

“Why would I think that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I thought you were cute and all, but I’m not sleeping with anyone until this is over. Because if you have sex in a zombie movie, it means you’ll die.”

“Well, this ain’t a movie,” I said, “but I appreciate your looking out for me like that.”

New Song Uploaded

2006-04-28T16:39:00.000-05:00

Hope you like it:

Eaters of the Dead

When they come we’ll be ready to fight
Backs to each other brothers in the night
Raise your sword run your enemy through
Fight or die it is the best you can do

Riding through the mist coming in waves
They have no interest in plunder or slaves
Defeated foes will surrender their heads
Mountain of bones tribute to the dead

Come my little brother we have fences to build
We must be ready or we all will be killed
There is no mercy for of them it is said
From the mist will come the eaters of the dead

Down from the mountains on their horses they ride
A dragon breathing fire with steel for his hide
Desiring human kind to feed and to slay
We will be lucky if we live out the day

She says that we should take the battle to them
To find the mother deep within her den
Slay the mother and the leader as well
We must destroy them in the cave where they dwell

Come my little brother we have fences to build
We must be ready or we all will be killed
There is no mercy for of them it is said
From the mist will come the eaters of the dead

One is dead but still another remains
They will not flee until their leader is slain
If there is fog tonight again they will come
It will continue until the battle is won

Behold he rides upon the head of the beast
The dragon brings him to the table to feast
Upon his head the horns of power reside
And many others upon horses do ride

Opeth

2006-04-20T21:26:00.000-05:00

Where have I been since December?

Listening to Opeth. Quite simply, the most amazing band that has come out in a long time. I'm surprised I didn't catch onto them sooner. Put the bands Death, Slayer, Pink Floyd, King Crimson, and Rush in a blender, and this is what you get.

I started with Damnation, which is an album made up pretty much of nothing but softer songs. It's an amazing piece of work. At the moment, my favorite song is "In My Time Of Need," which has a very robotic verse section but a chorus that just makes me want to cry. Incredible. The whole album is like this to lesser degrees.

I've since added Blackwater Park (a 9.5 out of 10 easily) and their newest, Ghost Reveries, to my collection. Of those two, I prefer the former. Words fail me, but there are some reviews of their work at Ruthless Reviews that pretty much describe exactly how I feel about these guys. They rule. Not since about two years ago when I discovered another band I'd overlooked (in the '80's in fact), Fates Warning, have I been this stoked about a new listening experience.

If you have not checked them out, I reccommend starting with Blackwater Park. It's a good balance of light and shade, and to really appreciate the band you have to get used to the death metal style vocals in some of the heavier material. There are also clean vocals, which are very good as well. In truth, everything Opeth does, they do better than anyone else. If they decided to play bluegrass, they'd play it better than Earl Scruggs. They're that good.

Fun with Cakewalk

2005-12-08T12:07:00.000-06:00

Having enormous fun remixing vocal parts for the Evil Muppet Project with Cakewalk today. I'm taking the opportunity to dial down the reverb a bit and refine the mixes. No changes to the guitar parts should be necessary.

Yet another double standard

2005-12-06T20:07:00.000-06:00

Of course, this is typical of the Left...

JOHN KERRY: [T]here is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, uh-uh-uh, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the -- of -- of -- of -- historical customs, religious customs, whether you like it or not. Iraqis should be doing that.

From Meet the Press on Sunday.

But it's alright if Bill Clinton (through his proxy, Janet Reno) sends young American soldiers into the home of American citizens in the dead of night, terrorizing kids, and children, in order to kidnap one of them and deport him to Fidel's Carribean Resort.

Red State is Done

2005-10-23T19:42:00.000-05:00

And the link is here.

Halfway done.

2005-10-01T11:51:00.000-05:00

Some problems arose mixing the album which have caused a delay.

I was having terrible trouble mixing the album down. I couldn't get the vocals to sound right in the mix. I've since corrected that, using some drastic measures: 1. The sound card I had been using was 5 years old and quite worn out, and I went to mixing from the onboard sound from my motherboard...big difference; and 2. Mixing the songs as instrumentals, recording the vocals seperately onto the computer as wav files, and dropping them in using Goldwave and mixing them just right in there (you can much easier control whether you exceed 1db (at which wavs will break up and start to distort). After doing this, I maximize both channels to 1db which makes the song about as loud as it can be.

The other unforseen problem I was having was the fact that in mixing down (or bouncing) from 4 tracks to 2 on a few songs, I inadvertantly mixed the drums too low. Fine. Just go back and remix, right? Only I stupidly was using only one tape for basic tracks, recording over the old ones as I went...the upshot being that my basic tracks were gone. So I had to re-record a sufficient portion of the album. Not a huge problem, considering I wrote the songs, but in the process, I decided to go back and meticulously program every little drum and fill. The result is much punchier and modern-sounding and much less raw. One song, however, "Children of the Doom" could not be re-done, because both the piano performance and my friend's acoustic performance were spot-on. I have to be satisfied with the drums being a little low, which isn't too bad considering it's a ballad.

And after finishing all the basic tracks, there's of course the final tracking to do.I have this neat effects pedal given to me by a friend, named Robert, who builds effects and amplifiers. He built me a custom distortion box that closely replicates the sound of an Ibanez Tube Screamer, which fetch around $150 used nowadays. I used this thing for a large portion of the rhythm tracks this time. The result is that at least one song sounds a LOT like mid-'80's Rush. Another result is that I ended up putting together a little 2 minute instrumental called "An Atrocious Nasty Thing" which is nothing more than a big rhythm guitar fest with cowbells on top. It's pretty punky sounding. So I gained another song for the album, to my surprise.

The upshot of all of this long-winded post is that I'm aiming for having this thing done by October 20, which is, incidentally, my birthday. I'm considering a couple avenues of distribution, CD Baby, and (more affordable on my tiny budget) a friend's indie label.So far, I've got "Children Of The Doom," "Silence Is Golden," "An Atrocious Nasty Thing," and "Funk You" (which did NOT have to be re-recorded, thankfully considering how difficult it was to pull off those descending harmony parts), with "The Perfect ****storm," "Wake Up Call" (the Rush-sounding thing), "Within These Chains," and the most daunting task of them all, "Father Mastodon" to go.

Bottom line, about half the songs are completed, and all the rhythm tracks are done. And this time, I saved the masters of those. Coming along nicely. I think this is my best mix-job ever.

**Update: I have already had more than one person say I should be using digital to begin with. Ah, well, analog is what I know.

New album coming

2005-09-21T17:10:00.000-05:00

All the songs are written for my new album...the whole thing clocks in around 40 minutes.

So far, of 7 tracks, 4 of them are recorded, and I've finished the basic tracks for the other 3.

I already have the song order figured out. These are not humorous songs. As a matter of fact, only two songs would really be considered typical of my work. Some of them are overtly conservative in nature. For that reason, I'm going to call the album Red State, which goes well with the album cover I came up with a while back.

1. The Perfect Shitstorm. That's what its being called at the moment, although I'm toying with the idea of calling it Animals. It's about the chaos in New Orleans. This one came together pretty fast. It is one of the metal songs. I have not decided on my vocal approach, although my demo has the typical yelling thing.
2. Silence Is Golden. I wrote this one this morning. Again, it came together relatively fast. In a way it's an addendum to and sequel to "The Perfect Shitstorm." It's about the media response to the hurricane.
3. Children of the Doom. This used to be The Loon. It and the next song are the only older material on this album. But instead of all-acoustic, I've got a pretty lush arrangement here, and some nice acoustic work by my best friend. I re-wrote the lyrics because I didn't agree with the sentiments I wrote back in the day...it was pretty environmental in nature. Now it's about the violence in nature.
4. Funk You. This one is pretty old. I've never been happy with any of the previous versions but I did an new one that I'm very pleased with, and since it's never been on an album, I included it here.
5. Wake Up Call. Just finished the backing tracks for this one. It was an acoustic song I wrote last month about how I woke up one day and realized I needed to get sober. The new arrangement is very Rush-like at the end, kind of poppy in the beginning/middle.
6. Within These Chains. The other metal song on here, it's done, and you can find it here...
7. Father Mastodon. I saved this one for last. It's a 9 minute exercise in putting a dream to music. The dream in question actually occurred with much of the music that is in the song.

I think these are the best songs I've ever written. There's a lot less of the lead guitar wankery I usually indulge in, with the exception of the metal songs and the long one. I've been working on this thing since last November, when I started writing "Within These Chains." I think in the last year or so, I've become more of a songwriter, and less of a guitar player.

I think within a week or so it should be finished, depending on how long it takes to remaster all the finished songs. "Father Mastodon" will be a chore.

Update: Since posting this I've finished the other 3 songs. All that needs to be done is to do a final mix on everything.

New Eric Johnson Album

2005-08-27T16:33:00.000-05:00

Eric Johnson - Bloom

Well, its been nearly 10 years since Venus Isle, so it's time for another Eric Johnson album. For those not familiar with this amazing guitar player, he's been around since the '70's, but didn't manage to put out a solo album until 1986's Tones, which is still my favorite guitar disc ever. In 1990 he put out the critically-acclaimed Ah Via Musicom, which earned him a Grammy for "Cliffs of Dover."

In the years since his last record, Johnson's been busy building a home studio and playing with Joe Satriani and Steve Vai on the G3 Tour. Now he's back with this disc.

It's gone through 3 rotations in my player, and it's looking like it's going to earn a permanent place in my playlists.

The album is divided into 3 sections...a 3 sided LP, if you will. The only other artist I remember doing this was Extreme (on the highly underrated III Sides To Every Story). Johnson's three sides are named Prelude, Courante, and Allemande.

Prelude begins with the title track, "Bloom," which is a rocking instrumental with some interesting passages, and some amazing legato phrasing by the master. From this, into "Summer Jam," another instrumental that has a real cool dissonant ending (I found myself smiling despite myself, which is always a good sign). Then he treats us to his version of "My Back Pages," the Bob Dylan song made famous by the Byrds. There were some things about this arrangement that were typical of EJ trying to make it his own, that for me, just did not work. But an admirable effort, regardless, and the playing is stellar. "Good To Me" has EJ whipping out the talk-box for some cool guitar work, and "Columbia" is a nice instrumental as well. The highlight of this section, however, is "12 to 12 Vibe," which those who have seen him live or own the original G3 DVD will recognize. I really liked this song when he played it there, and this version is actually more active, with EJ stretching out the solo somewhat over what I remember.

The Courante section is somewhat more subdued, and reminded me of the middle section of Tones, with the oft-forgotten "Desert Song." "Sea Secret" has EJ finding once again, his koto-like effect used to high effect on that album, something I'm glad to hear again. The next two songs find him in full New-Age mode, but then we get to "Cruise the Nile," which is really cool, utilizing the Coral Electric Sitar for some atmospheric flourishes. Then "Tribute To Jerry Reed," with Adrian Legg as guest soloist. This song is quite reminiscent of his early "Song For George," but quite different in its own way. Legg lays down a concise but impressive solo here. And "Your Sweet Eyes" is vocal-tune goodness in the best Eric Johnson tradition of "Desert Rose" and "Friends."

The last section, Allemande, begins with the Wes-Montgomery octave workout of "Hesitant," a full-on jazz song that really cools the mood. This is great stuff, and here you can hear some nice piano courtesy of Rich Harney and longtime Johnson collaborator Steve Barber. "Sunnaround You" is a nice, jazzy vocal tune. Nice chord progressions here, and enough to get past the New-Age vibe. "Magnetized" is a tribute, in a way, to Johnson's early fusion group, The Electromagnets, and nails the feel of that band quite nicely. Finally, the album ends with "Ciel," which is the closest thing Johnson's done to my personal favorite Johnson tune, "Desert Song," since that tune on Tones.

With Venus Isle, I found myself wondering, "where's all the cool stuff?" and I know that in retrospect that's a little bit selfish...after all there were some nice instrumental cuts on that one. But, for me, one appeal of Eric Johnson's work has always been the balance between the instrumental and vocal tunes, and the fact that they were both of equal quality. On that album in particular, the vocal songs dominated, yet were not as good as, the instrumentals. Here, they are standout songs in some instances, which is a step in the right direction. I rate this one just below Tones and Ah Via Musicom, which is not a bad thing. The best guitar recording of the year, thus far.

Where talent lies

2005-08-17T01:26:00.000-05:00

There was a discussion on the John Petrucci forums about talent and where it lies.

I got to thinking about this subject, and I posted this. I think it's pretty strong.

This month's Guitar Player interview with Eric Johnson makes it clear that even some elite players are not naturals. He struggled with the instrument in the beginning, and was by no means a natural. We wouldn't think that, based on his playing as we hear it today. In my opinion, a good part of talent lies in aptitude. In other words, if you are talented in any way, you will naturally feel the inclination to apply yourself.

I cannot remember a time when I really struggled to play the guitar. Of course, listening back to jams from 1988, I know how untrue this is. But in my mind, I was already talented. That's where talent lies. It is in your mind. Even someone who sounds hesitant today could very well have an aptitude for the instrument. It is the duty of teachers, in my opinion, to nurture that aptitude; for therein lies the key to unlocking someone's talent.

Now, if someone doesn't apply himself, he's just going to stop playing. Simple as that. But even someone who appears untalented, on the face of it, like Kurt Cobain, has some innate talent for the guitar. In these cases, they sometimes take an approach that is unique to the point of being genius...even though I personally dislike his playing.

Talent has 3 components:

1. Physical aptitude. (what some would call innate ability or talent from God) In the best cases displayed by prodigies and people like Jason Becker. With an enormous amount of practice and application, these people become the Beckers and Steve Vais and Yngwie Malmsteens of this world. Many players have this built in. Some even have it in huge amounts like the players listed; others don't. But even those with relatively low levels of this can reach a high level of competency by hard work.

2. Work ethic. I consider this the key to becoming competent on the instrument. Some have this in spades; again, many do not. Some take it to extreme levels; others maximize the practice/return ratio by budgeting their time wisely. But on the whole, few people (aside from those with large amounts of the other two components) will be able to play at all without practice and effort. This is the biggest stumbling block to aspiring guitar players, because they see that seemingly talentless people (such as Cobain) can become successful without practice and assume the instrument is easy. These people either quit playing, or never get past the beginner level.

3. Musical aptitude. This is surprisingly the most easily overcome, at least for intermediate players, of the 3 components. This is what is referred to as the ear, the innate ability to be able to pick things up nearly instantaneously, to hear when tonalities are off, to catch the nuances of a solo (such as sliding into notes and bending strings) that others do not catch. How many know a guy who can play a solo, say "Stairway To Heaven," note-for-note, yet it sounds off? It's because he's fretting notes that should be slurred or bent, or playing the right notes on the wrong string higher or lower on the fretboard. These are the guys we refer to as sounding "mechanical."

Some examples:

Eric Johnson has 2 and 3, likely 1, but not as much as we think because he's overcome it through 2.
Cobain had 3 and 1, but had very little of 2.
Becker had 1, 2, and 3.
Vai has 1, an ungodly amount of 2, and 3.
Malmsteen has all 3, but a little less of 3, than 1 and 2.
Uli Roth has 1 and 2 but he's lacking in 3, as evidenced by his sometimes off intonation and vibrato.
Kirk Hammet has 2, a little of 1, and no 3.
John Petrucci has 1, a huge amount of 2, and 3.

And as you can see, the guitarists we consider heroes and elite players possess all 3 of these attributes.

Can a guitarist get by with 2 or even only 1 of these? Yes. Personally, I think I possess 1, more of 3, but very little of 2 (perhaps none at all as I rarely practice). Having all three makes one uniquely talented, but even having only 1...say, the work ethic, will still get you somewhere. So having only one of these still makes you talented.

By way of conclusion:

Steve Vai, in last month's GP, said something very inspiring, at least to me. He said that developing your own voice on the guitar is best achieved through finding what you do best and accentuating it. If you have one of these attributes in heavy doses, emphasize it!

If you're good at #1, then your physical aptitude should allow you to do things on a guitar that others could only dream of...develop wide stretches, sweep picking, and tapping. Eddie Van Halen had loads of #1. He developed a new vocabulary for the electric guitar.

Let's say you're really good at #3, and you can pick up microtones really well....use the vibrato bar. Develop your sense of melody. Nobody has more of #3 than Jeff Beck, probably, and look where it has gotten him.

I've you've got lots of #2...you are truly blessed, although you may never know it. Because if you've got even a smidgen of the other two you're going to be a monster. And that is because I do not have to tell you to practice!

Children of the Doom

2005-08-13T21:47:00.000-05:00

I've uploaded this song, which was the second song that I ever wrote. Originally entitled "The Loon," it was written when I was in college, and under the influence of liberalism (a short and unhappy period of life for me). It was an environmental song about the destruction of the wetlands.

My best friend really likes the song, and likes performing it with me. But I had grown to despise the lyrics, which I absolutely did not agree with anymore. So I re-wrote them and renamed the song, and invited him to play acoustic guitar on the recording. I had actually never recorded more than a rough demo of this song and had never included it on any CD.

"Children of the Doom"

There's a fog over the lake
And the men are singing
Praying to their gods
For the water it is bringing

On the edge of the cove
The little ones are hiding
For they know tonight
The evil ones are riding

Chorus:
And a break in the afternoon
Will overtake us soon
Just as dreams fade to morning
And the sun becomes the moon
There will always be the children of the doom.

A bear comes to my camp
But he does not come to beg
If I fall asleep
He'll drag me out by my leg

Chorus

Guitar solo

On the edge of the cove
The women are wailing
And I'm smiling, and I'm smiling
For their spirit is failing

Chorus

Great Read

2005-08-01T11:20:00.000-05:00

Mona Eltahawy has written a must-read op-ed on terrorism and the need for Muslims to stop making excuses for it.

The July 7 London bombings did it for me. Perhaps it was because my parents moved us from Cairo to the British capital when I was 7 years old, and so London was my childhood "home." Or maybe it was because our route to work and school every morning crisscrossed those same Underground stations that were targeted.
I'm sure it was also those dog-eared statements that our clerics and religious leaders read out telling us that Islam means peace -- it actually means submission -- and asking us to please forget everything they had ever said before July 6, because as of July 7 they truly believe violence is bad. Their backpedaling is so furious you can smell the skid marks.

Read the whole thing; it's well-reasoned, and refreshing to hear it coming from a Muslim.

Why I'm called otcconan

2005-08-01T11:09:00.000-05:00

It's my gaming handle. Conan as in Conan the Librarian, from the Weird Al movie "UHF."

OTC is short for the clan "Order Thru Chaos," which I founded with 3 others long ago in Half-Life. Since that time I've used the name otcconan on various message boards and for many other purposes. My real name is John but I actually have gotten used to being called Conan after 6 years of using that name online.

Great War Movies

2005-07-26T13:19:00.001-05:00

I came home last night with The Thin Red Line. What a great movie. Which got me thinking about war movies. And so we have another list here.

1. A Bridge Too Far
2. Full Metal Jacket
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. Band of Brothers (technically a mini-series, but it is of cinematic quality so I include it)
5. The Thin Red Line

Feel free to add any of your favorites in the comments.

The needle is too humane...

2005-07-23T08:35:00.000-05:00

For people like this.

John Howard - Nails

2005-07-22T07:31:00.000-05:00

Australian Prime Minister John Howard is the man. He clearly defined what others have been trying to say for quite some time but has been ignored by the MSM: we did not start this war; the Jihadis did. And those looking to Iraq as the reason behind the London bombings are missing the mark and forgetting the attacks that took place long before the U.S.-led coalition invaded that country.

Can I remind you that the murder of 88 Australians in Bali took place before the operation in Iraq. And I remind you that the 11th of September occurred before the operation in Iraq.
Can I also remind you that the very first occasion that bin Laden specifically referred to Australia was in the context of Australia's involvement in liberating the people of East Timor. Are people by implication suggesting we shouldn't have done that?
When a group claimed responsibility on the website for the attacks on the 7th of July, they talked about British policy not just in Iraq, but in Afghanistan. Are people suggesting we shouldn't be in Afghanistan?
When Sergio de Mello was murdered in Iraq -- a brave man, a distinguished international diplomat, a person immensely respected for his work in the United Nations -- when al Qaida gloated about that, they referred specifically to the role that de Mello had carried out in East Timor because he was the United Nations administrator in East Timor.
Now I don't know the mind of the terrorists. By definition, you can't put yourself in the mind of a successful suicide bomber. I can only look at objective facts, and the objective facts are as I've cited. The objective evidence is that Australia was a terrorist target long before the operation in Iraq.

That sums it up nicely.

More: Baldilocks. Trey Jackson has video. And of course Michelle Malkin. And LGF.

Father Mastodon updated

2005-07-16T13:18:00.000-05:00

Father Mastodon is the title of a song written about a dream I had. I updated the version I had online to include some harmony vocals in the intro section.

Lyrics:

The cat that hides in the haystack
He is king
Revealed as a phoenix
Fire on his crown

A race that becomes a joust
A knight awaits his squire
Green donkeys walked in a circle
"You will know me by the raven in the window."

Television smashed on the floor
A death in the family
Brush the glass from the frame
"Best reception I ever saw."

Picture on the screen
Shows the combat in arenas
The winning knight stands before me
His weapon is raised

Tiny figures bouncing
Their toes don't touch the ground
One by one, they come
I am compelled to follow

A banquet of elephants
Playing chess with men
Grandfather of the mammoths
His son is made of plastic

"March with me," he says
Off we go, playing through our trunks
A song of war and mountains
Round in a circle, tighter and tighter

At last inside a bowl
Glass edges sharp as knives
Blood dripping in the center
Gathering in a pool.

He's cut off his finger
He didn't even feel it
He's trying to tape it together with band-aids.

Freud would have a field day with that dream.

Telling it like it is

2005-07-16T02:57:00.000-05:00

It is refreshing to read this kind of thing from a mainstream newspaper. I think I'll start reading the Dallas Morning News from now on:

Two words not uncommon to editorial pages are "resolve" and "sacrifice," especially as they relate to war.
Today, this editorial board resolves to sacrifice another word – "insurgent" – on the altar of precise language. No longer will we refer to suicide bombers or anyone else in Iraq who targets and kills children and other innocent civilians as "insurgents."
The notion that these murderers in any way are nobly rising up against a sitting government in a principled fight for freedom has become, on its face, absurd. If they ever held a moral high ground, they sacrificed it weeks ago, when they turned their focus from U.S. troops to Iraqi men, women and now children going about their daily lives.

Too bad the local San Antonio Express-News isn't so forthright.

Hat tip: Little Green Footballs

This whole Karl Rove thing

2005-07-15T06:02:00.000-05:00

A lot of people are jumping to conclusions based on Rove's "evil mastermind" reputation.

Rove Learned CIA Agent's Name From Novak

WASHINGTON - Chief presidential adviser Karl Rove testified to a grand jury that he talked with two journalists before they divulged the identity of an undercover CIA officer but that he originally learned about the operative from the news media and not government sources, according to a person briefed on the testimony.

The person, who works in the legal profession and spoke only on condition of anonymity because of grand jury secrecy, told The Associated Press that Rove testified last year that he remembers specifically being told by columnist Robert Novak that Valerie Plame, the wife of a harsh Iraq war critic, worked for the CIA.

Apparently, this whole thing was touched off by Novak.

Rove told the grand jury that three days later, he had a phone conversation with Time magazine reporter Matt Cooper and — in an effort to discredit some of Wilson's allegations — informally told Cooper that he believed Wilson's wife worked for the CIA, though he never used her name, the source said. An e-mail Cooper recently provided the grand jury shows Cooper reported to his magazine bosses that Rove had described Wilson's wife in a confidential conversation as someone who "apparently works" at the CIA.

Rove never named the agent (Plame), and certainly didn't leak anything that wasn't already known by Novak. The leak must have come from somewhere else.

If Rove had leaked the information, he should be fired. However, as more information becomes available, it's starting to appear that once again, the media is jumping to conclusions. Of course, the press will say that it's the appearance of impropriety that matters. It's the seriousness of the charge. No matter how false that charge is.

Update: Bill at All Things Conservative says the Media are Covering for Themselves.
Baldilocks wonders if a crime was even committed.
Michelle Malkin is all over this one.

2005-07-10T03:48:00.000-05:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Supreme Court Vacancy

2005-07-06T10:46:00.000-05:00

A lot of hot air going on about this vacancy created by the retirement of Justice O'Connor...

My hope is that Bush will appoint a strict constructionist for this post. However, I think the far right is deluding themselves if they think this is going to happen. It's more likely that we'll see someone moderate; still, it would not surprise me to see the Dems start a filibuster regardless, just to see what Frist will do.

After the trouble he went through to confirm Gonzalez as Attorney General, I don't think Bush will appoint him; then we'd have to confirm both a new A.G. AND an Associate Justice. Instead, we'll see a new face. And no matter how moderate he or she is, my suspicion is that they'll be to conservative, even then, for the Dems.

Personally, I'd like to see him appoint Janice Rogers Brown; after all, they just confirmed her, and so to filibuster her again would really show just how pathetically obstructionist the Democrats are.

Michelle Malkin weighs in.

Soundclick page

2005-07-06T10:35:00.000-05:00

I've set up a free soundclick page here, for my most recent and best works. Full albums are still at the [OTC]Conan site. At some point I will begin streamlining things so that there will not be multiple versions of the same songs ("Riding with Ray," for example, appears on both The Other Side and No Man's Land).

The newest addition to the Soundclick page is an updated version of "Down Deeper," which originally appeared on Awakenings. Sometimes one gets so caught up in the process, that he forgets to sit down and actually listen to what's being recorded. That would apply in this case. For that album, I demoed songs for about 6 months before finishing the album, by which time the spontaneity and original spark of the song has been lost. This certainly happened with a lot of songs on that album, which in retrospect, I over-produced. I've decided to focus on individual songs in the future, and not so much on albums. When I have enough songs for a CD, only then will I complete the project. I forced too much on that album. I'm still proud of the songs; but the performances are really lacking (although I really liked my vocal work).

In the future, song postings will come quicker, as I've found a way to streamline the drum programming process, and have decided on getting the original idea recorded before it gets diluted by time or over-analyzing things. Many of my songs come from dreams I have, and like dreams, the memory tends to fade over time. I won't let the creative process become my master...I must be in charge.

Funk You

2005-07-03T16:09:00.000-05:00

That's the name of a song I've finished for hopefully the last time.

Some harmonies I didn't think I was capable of on this one.

New Dream Theater album

2005-06-08T20:01:00.000-05:00

Octavarium

Dream Theater:
James LaBrie - Vocals
John Myung - Bass
John Petrucci - Guitars and Vocals
Mike Portnoy - Drums, Vocals, and Percussion
Jordan Rudess - Keybards, Continuum, and Lap Steel Guitar

Engineered by Doug Oberkirker

So, here we are, a little more than a year since I bought the mostly-disliked Train of Thought. Personally, I really liked it, but then I like every Dream Theater release for the most part. This is a fan review, of course, and I'm a big fan of these guys. The only CD they've released thus far that I have not considered a favorite would be Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence; still, there are even parts of that one that I really like.

Dream Theater have been the progressive metal standard-bearers since 1992's Images and Words, which among most hardcore fans of the band, is considered to be their pinnacle. I personally like their subsequent release, Awake, much more. Still, my introduction to the band came with Images and Words, and so I'd consider myself one of the core base fans of band. I own every studio CD these guys have produced.

Octavarium picks up with the same note that ends Train of Thought, a trend that continues from several of their previous releases. This album falls somewhere between the guitar-centric sound of that release, and the more progressive nature of Six Degrees' second disc and the earlier material such as Images and Words and Awake. As such, after one listen, I really enjoy it. Like many other reviewers, I'll give a short track-by-track synopsis.

1. The Root of All Evil (8:07). This song kicks off the album, and it is the third part of Mike Portnoy's Alcoholics Anonymous trilogy, the previous two being "The Glass Prison" from Six Degrees and "This Dying Soul" from Train of Thought. This same source material was also explored in "The Mirror" from Awake, which is one of my favorite songs from that album. As such, it has references to those songs, and it is heavy in the places it should be. A nice powerful way to kick off the album.

2. The Answer Lies Within (5:20). First ballad of the album, the lyrics being a little trite, but to be expected when understanding that John Petrucci wrote this for his child. Shades of "Anna Lee" from Falling Into Infinity, which happens to be my favorite cut from that release. Interesting that the final piano chord is pitched up a little bit on the fade-out, a reference to "The Great Gig In The Sky" from Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon.

3. These Walls (6:59). A pop-influenced song, dominated by Jordan Rudess' keys in the beginning. Still, many heavy elements, and a song that would have fit nicely on Train of Thought. Some atmospheric elements as well.

4. I Walk Beside You (4:29). A lot of Dream Theater fans have talked about how this song sounds a bit too much like U2. There are those elements there, definately in the chorus, but they take the chord progression to places that U2 never would; in fact, there are times when listening to U2 songs that I've thought they would be better served by taking a few more risks in their progressions; so in a way this is the song I wish U2 would write. The pre-chorus, however, is all DT, and it is not as if they've never written U2-influenced material before ("Lifting Shadows off a Dream" from Awake comes to mind).

5. Panic Attack (7:16). Ahhh....here we go. This is what I'm talking about! This is the Dream Theater that people have come to expect from their last few albums. Incredible bass intro, fantastic playing all around, heavy, downtuned guitars, arpeggiated keyboards riding over it all. The pre-chorus has a nice changeup. This is the Dream Theater that we heard on Metropolis Pt II: Scenes From a Memory.

6. Never Enough (6:33). A lot of people are pointing out a Muse influence; I'll have to take their word for it, since I'm not a Muse fan and have never heard that band. It certainly sounds different for DT. Having the luxury of not being a Muse fan, I like the direction of this song. Jordan Rudess rules this song. The vocal lines take unexpected turns. If this is what Muse sounds like, I've got to look into them.

7. Sacrificed Sons (10:41). Some are saying this is an anti-Bush song. Hard to tell, really; it's basically DT's "9/11" song. I prefer to see it as "In The Name of God, Part II", and I really enjoyed that song from Train of Thought. From my perspective, there doesn't seem to be any judgements here other than that what happened was horrible. Now, as far as the music: the beginning has some more "Anna Lee" in it, and there is Jordan Rudess playing some lap steel (good idea to have the guy with perfect pitch play the lap steel, by the way). When the song really kicks in, there's some heavy riffage, and fantastic soloing and interplay between the guitar and keys.

8. Octavarium (24:00). I could do a whole post on this epic. I will have to strongly differ with some who have trashed this song so far. Lot of prog-rock references here, and that's why we listen to Dream Theater, isn't it? It starts off a lot like "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" from Pink Floyd. The first verse brings to mind the guitar sound with "Hey You." Great harpsichord work (or is that guitar? hard to tell). Then the song goes into an uplifting major key chorus, drops back down into piano, and hits stride with some funky bass from Myung. Everything just building and building, then at 12:15 comes the huge Emerson, Lake, and Palmer section from Rudess. This is definately my high point of the album so far. After that, dropping into a new section where the lyrics give us some Beatles references and nice backing vocals from Petrucci and Portnoy. And then some incredible interplay between Rudess and Petrucci. Finally the whole thing breaks down into a slow, majestic ending, complete with a very Dave Gilmour-inspired solo at the end by Petrucci. This song alone is worth the price of admission.

From a production standpoint, I kind of wish I could have heard this album mixed by Kevin Shirley. I don't know why DT decided not to use him on this disc, other than the innate musician's need to try something different. It's also missing a little bit of the warmth that normally is present in their recordings made at Bear Track Studios. Still, it's not as bad as I had been led to believe, and I can definately hear the lead instruments when I need to.

The real star of this release is James LaBrie. His vocals have not sounded this good since Images and Words and Awake. Releasing a solo album really was beneficial for him.

It's not the shred-fest that Train of Thought was; instead, we get the prog album from these guys that personally, I've been wanting for quite some time. It will take repeated listens to truly appreciate it, and I really can't say exactly where it would fall in my ranking of their albums until then. But as usual, they deliver the goods, and this CD will be in my playlist for much of the near future.